


"I quit"

by TheAnonPen



Series: A guide to getting a promotion in Camelot [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, But Not Much, Canon Era, Gen, Mention of blood, Mentions of Sex, Merlin is So Done (Merlin), Screw Destiny, Slow Build, and general gross stuff, ish, mostly in a gossiping sense, there will be some swearing if that bothers you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAnonPen/pseuds/TheAnonPen
Summary: Merlin has been in Camelot for nearly a decade now and he is done with not being listened to.---Meant to be set between s4 and s5 but I wanted both Mordred and Lancelot to make appearances so make of that what you will.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: A guide to getting a promotion in Camelot [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779109
Comments: 101
Kudos: 721





	1. The Visiting Noble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been literally years since I have posted anything so please bear with me whilst I get back into the swing of things. This idea has been floating around my head for a little while so I finally decided to get something down.

“Wakey wakey!” Merlin chirped as he threw open the curtains letting the sun stream straight in to hit Arthur in the face. “You’ve got a busy day today,” he continued whilst dodging the pillow heading straight for him, “open court this morning, there’s been a squabble in the lower town over the ownership of a pig that was sent to slaughter last week and at least five of those involved are already queuing outside the throne room.” Arthur rolled his eyes at the thought as he pulled himself out of bed, the arguments about livestock are something he found surprisingly difficult about being king. Not because he didn’t care but because he found all the court training in the world couldn’t prepare him for trying to keep a straight face at whatever comments Merlin whispered to him during the session.

“Then this afternoon that Lord Cressac is arriving, apparently the new head of the house is a bit of an upstart but ultimately harmless and given your fathers’ friendship I can’t imagine he’ll be too difficult. This evening you were meant to dine with him privately but I’m going to say you’ve come down with something and need to rest because Gwen says you’ve barely seen each other all week so I thought you’d rather spend the evening with her. But first, breakfast!” Arthur crossed the room and slumped into a chair at the table, he looked down at the plate in front of him. 

“Merlin?” He said.

“Yes sire?”

“Where’s my bacon?” As he turned to look at the servant who didn’t even have the decency to hide the bacon in his hand.

“It seemed insensitive,” Merlin said, taking another bite, “to the pig.” 

\---

Arthur stood on the steps to the castle preparing to meet the new Lord Cressac, the family had always been a friend of the Pendragons and his father had spoken very highly of the previous head of the house. That Lord Cressac had passed a month ago and his son had inherited the title, from what Arthur could remember he was… fine. A little dull but a lot of these noble born types were, ultimately harmless as long as they were kept happy with the occasional acknowledgment from the royals. All the same he wasn’t exactly looking forward to the two days of sucking up he usually had to endure from these visits. That thought made him smile a little as he remembered when he had loved the praise heaped on him by visitors to the court and wondered when that had changed. He looked at his queen beside him and the common born knights that surrounded them, it had been quite some time ago it would seem.

The carriage pulled into the courtyard surrounded by horses and riders dressed in the colours of the house of Cressac, a brilliant blue with silver accent and a crest featuring a raven. The procession drew to a halt, a young men stepped down from the carriage and approached Arthur before falling into a deep bow.

“Your majesty,” he said.

“Lord Cressac, welcome to Camelot,” Arthur stepped forward and shook his hand, “I was sorry to hear of your father’s passing.”

“Thank you my lord, he had been ill for quite some time so it is a comfort to know he is at peace now.”

“Well I’m sure you’re tired from your long journey; I’ll allow you to settle in. I have instructed my personal manservant to assist you during your stay.” Arthur had to bite back a smirk at this as he saw Merlin step forward with a face like a wet weekend. He knew how much he hated serving these other nobles during these visits, he could get away with far less than he could with Arthur. If he really though about it he didn’t love the idea of having to send Merlin because it usually left him stuck with George but it was a sign of respect to their guests to loan his personal servant so they both just had to put up with it.

“That’s very generous of you sire but I have brought my own servant so that won’t be necessary,” Arthur didn’t even have to look to know the hopeful expression Merlin was wearing at this.

“Well at least allow him to help with your things all the same,” he said, hinting Merlin to move forward and help unload the carriage as he began introducing Lord Cressac to the rest of the welcoming party.

Merlin barely concealed a sigh at the thought of helping the noble for the next couple of days, he knew why he had to of course but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He began helping unload the carriage but the box he took was snatched from his grasp as he lifted it. 

“I’ll take that thank you,” said a curt voice next to him as he turned to look at the man that had taken it, this must be the personal servant the lord mentioned “my master is very particular about how his things are handled.”

“Of course,” Merlin replied quickly slipped into what he thought of as his court-appropriate-mask, “I will be careful, I can understand the difficulties of working for someone with specific requirements.” He gave the man a small smile which was not returned, “I’m Merlin” he stuck his hand out. Instead of taking it the other man just grabbed a bag off the carriage and turned away with a huff. This was going to be a long two days. 

When he arrived at the guest chambers designated for the visiting noble he was met by the same servant directing a flurry of activity around the room. He went to enter but the boxes he was carrying were quickly taken from him and given to a passing maid wearing the Cressac colours. 

“Thank you,” it was Cressac’s personal servant again, “but we’ve got it from here.” He said as he gave Merlin a not-so-gentle shove towards the door and shut it in his face but not before Merlin noticed the flash of fear on the maid’s face as she looked at the man, something wasn’t right here. 

\---

“Gwen!” Merlin called as he ran down the corridor to catch up with his friend. The courtier she had been walking with frowned at him as he approached, “I mean… my lady, may I have a word?” the other woman looked slightly appeased but still had that general air of disgusted-you-exist most courtiers held around the servants.

“Of course,” Gwen replied and turned to the courtier, “I’ll catch you up Evelyn.” The woman – Evelyn apparently – walked away looking somewhat put out that a servant had drawn the queen’s attention away from her. “What’s up?”

“You’ve been here much longer than me, were you working in the castle last time the Cressacs visited?”

“It was a long time ago now but yes I was, as I remember the new Lord Cressac was particularly interested in Lady Morgana so I spent quite some time trying to rebuff his advances for her.”

“And do you remember, did he have a personal servant then?”

“Ummm, I don’t think so. I know he had taken a squire about a month before but he seemed to be treating the poor kid as more of a whipping boy than anything else. Why?” Maybe that was it Merlin thought, maybe the staff were being mistreated and were all too scared to say anything.

“Oh it’s probably nothing, his servant just seemed sort of… off with me is all.”

“Because servants can never be protective of their masters?” she asked with a pointed look.

“Yeah alright fair point,” he chuckled, “although I wouldn’t say no to a hand with some of the work Arthur gives me sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, but if you do want to ask someone about him I became friendly with one of the maids last time they were here. Her name was Alice.”

“Thanks Gwen, or I suppose I should say thank you your majesty” he said with a badly hidden smirk.

“Don’t call me that Merlin , it's just weird from you,” she shook her head. “So if the newcomers don’t want your help and Arthur thinks you’re helping them… I suppose you have some free time?” she asked.

“Well I’m sure Gaius has something he needs doing-” Merlin began.

“Too bad, because your queen orders you to not do that as she absolutely has to tell you the latest gossip she just heard from Lady Evelyn” she interrupted, linking her arm with Merlin’s and pulling him to walk along with her down the corridor ignoring his fake protests.

\---

It wasn’t until that evening that he had a chance to track down Alice, between catching up with Gwen – it turned out Sir Humphries’ wife was having an affair with his stable boy which Merlin had to admit was some top quality gossip – and keeping up with all of his other work he was kept busy the rest of the day but he eventually found her heading back from the laundry with a pile of fresh sheets.

“Please,” he said heading up to her and taking her load from her, “let me help you with that.”

“Oh that’s very kind of you really but there’s no need,” she replied, “Penton doesn’t like to let others handle the Cressacs’ care.”

“Well I won’t tell him if you won’t,” he flashed her a smile, “I’m Merlin.” He held his hand out from under the pile of cloth.

“Alice,” she said shaking it, “you’re the king’s servant aren’t you?”

“Pratt-ish one in a crown? Yeah that’s him.” Alice let out a nervous laugh at his response.

“You talk about your master like that?”

“Believe me he calls me far worse. What about your master, what’s he like?”

“Lord Cressac is a more than fair employer, and very loyal to Camelot.” Her replied sounded almost scripted.

“Mhmm I’m sure. What about his servant? That’s this Penton guy right?”

“Penton is a trusted servant of our household,” her response wasn’t particularly unusual of a maid talking about her boss but Merlin couldn’t help but notice her eyes darting about in fear, like an animal looking for a way out.

“Alice,” he said gently, turning to her “I know something isn’t right, it’s ok you can tell me. The king doesn’t take kindly to people that treat their servants badly and the queen certainly wouldn’t let anyone get away with it.”

“I- I’m sorry I can’t” she rushed taking back the pile of laundry, “I need to go.”

“No Alice wait-“ he tried to stop her but she was already walking away. She paused but didn’t turn back.

“Don’t let him get too close to the king.” Merlin had to strain his ears to hear her. 

“Don’t let who too close?” He asked but she was already walking away again and this time she didn’t stop. Ok, he thought, maybe more than just another noble being unkind to their staff. Merlin ran a hand through his hair and sighed, what he wouldn’t give for just one week where someone didn’t try to harm the kingdom in some way.

\---

Merlin didn’t sleep well that night. Unsurprisingly it’s hard to relax when you’re pretty sure someone in the castle could commit treason at any moment. His tiredness showed in his work the next morning as another piece of armour fell to the floor with a clang after he fumbled the buckle.

“What is wrong with you today Merlin?” Arthur huffed as Merlin scrambled to pick up the pauldron, “you’re even more useless than normal today.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “didn’t sleep well.”

“Well I hope you’re treating Lord Cressac better than this, I don’t want him to think this is the best service Camelot has to offer.”

“Actually I haven’t really had to attend to him much,” Merlin said fastening the piece back into place, “his personal servant is quite… protective.”

“Well then in that case you’ve got time to walk my dogs whilst I’m training haven’t you?” 

“Actually,” Merlin handed Arthur his gloves and stepped back to face him, “I was hoping you might let me help Gaius with a few things this afternoon, there’s a flu passing through the lower town and I want to get to it before he does. He won’t say anything but I know the longer rounds are getting harder on him.” Merlin winced internally knowing that implying Gaius was getting too old for some of his duties was going to bite him when the physician found out, but he also knew that Arthur couldn’t refuse a request like that.

“Fine, just don’t go bringing anything back with you. If I get sick I will hold you wholly responsible.”

“Yes sire,” Merlin handed Arthur his sword, “try not to let the visiting lord beat you too badly, it’s not good for moral.” Arthur’s only response was to clip him round the back of the head as he made his way out of the armoury. 

Merlin made his way straight to the guest quarters. He knew this might be the only opportunity he got to have a snoop, with how attentive Penton seemed to be there was no way he wouldn’t be assisting Lord Cressac during the training session. He stopped once he reached the guest wing and ducked into one of the unoccupied rooms to grab the basket of logs kept next to the fire, he had a feeling he was going to need an excuse.

Upon reaching Lord Cressac’s chambers he was stopped by a member of his personal guard.

“State your business,” the man said.

“Just topping up the fire wood,” he replied, making to go past and into the room.

“No one but Lord Cressac and his personal servant are allowed entry to this room.” The guard stood firm.

“The king has asked me personally to ensure Lord Cressac’s stay in Camelot is as comfortable as possible, I’m sure his lordship wouldn’t want to be seen as rejecting the king’s thoughtfulness at sending his own personal servant now would he?”

The man faltered slightly before stepping aside, “you’ve got two minutes.”

Merlin entered the room and quickly dumped out the wood next to the fireplace. He stood and surveyed the room, nothing seemed to be amiss but obviously if the guests were really up to something they wouldn’t just leave a big file on the table saying “evil plan”. Although that would make his life a lot easier, he mused. Merlin began searching, he rooted through the draws in the desk but they were empty of all but a few pieces of parchment, the trunks that had been brought in had been completely unpacked and knocking on the undersides of them there didn’t seem to be any hidden compartments. Then he came to the wardrobe.

The first thing to hit him was the smell. Merlin had quite literally experienced dragon breath on a bad day yet somehow this was worse. If he had to describe it, it was something along the lines of death mixed with rotting fish and an undercurrent of a farmer’s manure store in the summer. He took a moment to blink away the water that had sprung to his eyes at the stench and then covered his nose with his scarf and pressed on. After a moment of searching he pulled out a wooden box tucked behind a pile of clothes, this was definitely where the smell was coming from. He made to open it but it was locked, with a quick glance at the door to check that guard wasn’t looking yet he let a small amount of magic flow out of him and heard the click of the lock as it opened. As soon as he pulled the lid back he nearly dropped it as the wave of stench hit him and he fought back the urge to vomit. Holding his breath he peered inside.

If Merlin were pressed to describe what he saw in that box, he would have to say it was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen in his entire life. Worse than Lady Catrina, worse than that time Gaius made him assist with a birth, worse than when Arthur made them take a shortcut through what turned out to be an actual bog. 

Inside the box was a brass bowl, about the size of the ones the castle kitchens used to serve soup - and wasn’t that something he’d never be able to unthink? At the bottom of the bowl was a sticky red liquid that he was fairly sure was partially congealed blood, floating in this ooze was a small figure made of what looked like red clay (although Merlin supposed it could’ve just been stained from the blood). He was pretty sure it was supposed to resemble a human in that it had two legs, two arms and a head but that was really where the resemblance ended. Three human teeth had been pushed into what looked like the head and there were a few hairs that had been smoothed onto the top like some sort of grotesque wig. He was just about to look closer when he heard the door starting to open, the guard was coming back to check on him. He quickly locked the box again and put it back where he had found it before shutting the wardrobe and turning to meet the guard.

“What are you doing in here? It doesn’t take that long to leave some wood.” Said the guard.

“Just making sure everything is up to the standards Camelot provides for its guests but everything seems to be in order. Thank you, bye!” Merlin replied as he squeezed past the guard and out the door. He really hoped Gaius had some sort of idea what all this was because he didn’t even know where to start, and would it really kill the latest evil sorcerer to use a nice flower arrangement or something for their spell? He was getting really bored of blood magic schemes now.

\---

“Do you have the figure?” Gaius asked in response to listening to Merlin’s tale.

“Do I – do I have the figure?” Merlin couldn’t believe what he was hearing “That’s what you ask? Really? You think I wanted to touch that thing? No Gaius I do not have the figure, besides it would’ve looked a little suspicious if they came back and someone had stolen their disgusting doll wouldn’t it?”

“That’s a shame,” Gaius muttered as he moved over to one of the bookcases and started scanning the titles. 

“Oh that’s a shame. That’s a shame Merlin that you didn’t keep that tiny figure of nightmares, why don’t you just pop along now and go get it? Oh the probably evil definitely sorcerer that it belongs to? Don’t worry about them I’m sure they won’t mind you borrowing their-” Merlin’s muttering was cut off as Gaius dropped a heavy tome in front of him. He looked up to see his mentor giving him  _ that look. _

“I have heard rumours of similar creatures before, crafted from the elements they are raised by sorcerers to do their bidding.” Gaius said moving to sit opposite Merlin with his own book, “this is a dark magic that was frowned upon even before the purge. If memory serves me correctly it is closely linked with the study of the elements but unfortunately that’s all I know.” Gaius gestured to the book he’d placed in front of Merlin before opening his own.

They studied in a comfortable silence, occasionally pointing things out to one another until Gaius muttered a small “aha” and turned his book around to show Merlin. 

“A clay golem?” Merlin read the words on the page out loud. The book went on to describe the creature as ‘made of earth and born of fire’ but gave little in the way of instructions for how to deal with one “Gaius, this book isn’t all that helpful.”

“No,” Gaius murmured, “maybe you best warn the king.”

“Oh I’m sure that’ll go down well, how will I even explain how I found all this out?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something, shouldn’t you be getting him ready for tonight’s feast now anyway?” Merlin looked out the window and saw the sun was a lot lower in the sky than he had realised and jumped to his feet.

“Thanks Gaius!” He shouted behind him as he rushed out the door.

\---

“You’re late Merlin,” Arthur said as Merlin got to his chambers.

“Sorry sire,” Merlin muttered making his way to the wardrobe and pulling out something suitable for the king to wear to the feast tonight, “how was training?”

“You know I’d heard that Lord Cressac was meant to be a dab hand with a flail so I thought we’d train with that today, see if he could put some of the knights through their paces,” Arthur made his way over to the changing screen.

“And?” Merlin asked, passing him a shirt.

“He didn’t even train with us!” Arthur exclaimed as Merlin barely avoided being hit with the shirt thrown back over the screen at him and passed over a pair of breeches, “said something about an old injury playing up, but since when does a visiting noble refuse a chance to train with the king?” Arthur emerged from behind the screen and Merlin began helping him into his jerkin.

“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about Lord Cressac,” Merlin began, not really sure where he was going to go with this conversation but deciding that winging it was his best option at this point. Arthur gestured for him to continue, “I just- I’ve got a bad feeling about him, a hunch I guess.”

“Merlin this better be going somewhere because I am not in the mood for any of your theories today.”

“Ok,” Merlin paused a took a deep breath deciding that the best way forward here was just going to be honesty, “I think he’s got a clay golem.”

“You think he’s got a what?” Arthur turned to him, wide eyed.

“A clay golem. It’s this thing, a creature of some sort that can be made with magic, I found this bowl in his room filled with blood and other gross things and this little figure and Gaius said- “

“Merlin,” Arthur held up and hand to stop him talking, “I am going to pretend that this conversation never happened.”

“What? But he’s up to something Arthur! And that servant of his is really shifty and- “

“Merlin! Stop!” Arthur raised his voice this time, “in the space of the last two minutes you have admitted to breaking into a noble’s room and rifling through their things, which I can only assume you did whilst I was training meaning that you lied to me about helping Gaius.” 

“But-” Merlin made to interrupt but was cut off again.

“What’s more you accuse him of magic when the Cressacs have been staunch supporters of my father and the war against sorcery for decades.”

“Just because someone’s always been loyal to Camelot doesn’t mean they can’t change their mind!” Merlin huffed back and the reference to previous betrayals wasn’t lost on Arthur, “and no I didn’t sneak into his room, I was refilling his firewood because  _ you  _ asked me to attend to him to make him feel welcome.”

“Merlin, that’s enough,” Arthur ran a hand over his face, he was already dreading having to host this feast tonight and he was especially not in the mood for this tonight.

“You know I am right about this sort of thing all of the time, I’ve warned you about literally hundreds of threats against Camelot but do you ever listen? No of course not. Because you're too busy being such a massive clotpole to see what’s right under your nose!”

“Merlin I said that’s enough!” Arthur shouted, his frustration bubbling over. The volume made his servant flinch in surprise slightly. “Just let it go alright? I know Camelot’s faced a lot of threats over the years but that doesn’t mean everyone that comes to the castle is looking to destroy us. Just try not to mess up at the feast tonight and then Cressac will be leaving tomorrow and I will pretend we never had this conversation.” With that he turned and left, leaving Merlin already thinking about how he was going to destroy a bloody clay golem without getting executed along the way. 

\---

The feast was going… well. Too well if you asked Merlin. But obviously no one would, he thought to himself as he refilled Arthur’s goblet for the fourth time. He could tell the king was not in the mood for tonight’s festivities by the way he was getting through the wine, good thing Merlin had been secretly watering it down. Penton, he noted, had not refilled his master’s cup even once which was a little odd, even Gaius was on his second drink by now. 

One of the page boys appeared at Merlin’s elbow and handed him a folded note, “Sir Leon said this was to go straight to the King, he’s just returned from the patrol.” 

“Thanks Bertie,” Merlin said and pinched a couple of berries from a passing serving platter to hand to the boy who smiled and quickly ran off. “From Sir Leon’s patrol sire,” Merlin said quietly in Arthur’s ear as he handed him the note. Arthur nodded and unfolded it, taking another bit of chicken as he read it. It was unnoticeable to anyone that wasn’t so used to watching the king every second of the day but for Merlin it could not be more obvious that something had just gone terribly wrong. Arthur paled slightly and shifted in his seat so that he was now sitting protectively using his own body to shield Gwen as he turned to face Lord Cressac next to him. His eyes glanced around the room as Merlin had seen him do hundreds of times before a battle, he was counting his men and the men from the Cressac household he realised. It was a shame he was about to be proven right really, Merlin thought as he set down his pitcher, because he still didn’t quite have a fully formed plan yet.

“Lord Cressac,” Arthur began, his tone laced with caution. Merlin could see him slowly moving his foot where he knew he had a knife stored in his boot. “How’s your injury now?”

“Oh very well thank you sire,” Cressac replied, “I must apologise again for not training with you earlier but it can really be quite bothersome.”

“Yes, I imagine having your throat slit would.” Arthur said coldly and a few of the knights within earshot snapped to attention, “see I have just had the most peculiar message back from a patrol, saying that they have just found the body of Lord Cressac on the route back to Camelot. Tell me, how did you recover from that one?” By this point the hall was near silent as word spread of what was happening. Cressac, however, looked frozen. He was completely still, almost like a statue.

Penton sighed and dumped his pitcher on the ledge behind him unceremoniously as he stepped forward and walked around to the centre of the room. A few knights began to stand up but were frozen in by a wave of his hand and a flash of his eyes. “You know I really didn’t want to do it like this,” Penton began and Merlin rolled his eyes, another day, another sorcerer, another monologue. “I was going to bide my time, let Cressac get closer to you, make sure you considered him a friend before he tore you limb from limb. Just as my father considered your father a friend before he had him burnt.” Yup there it is, thought Merlin. “But I suppose this way I can drop the glamour at least, that was starting to get tiring.” As he said this Cressac stood and his skin started to peel away. Merlin silently added that to his list of disgusting things he could never un-see. As his outside appearance fell to pieces it revealed a hideous grey creature of clay, a near exact match for the one Merlin had found but on a much larger scale.

“What is this? Let me go!” Arthur shouted as he struggled against whatever magical hold he had been placed under. Merlin noted that he still seemed to have full range of movement but thought it was probably best he kept that hidden for now. 

“I suppose you’re right,” Penton said but the menacing look in his eye suggested that his words didn’t bode well, “it would be pretty boring just to watch you be slaughtered where you sit.” He waved his hand again and Arthur was released, he dove to the side out of his seat as one of the golems huge hands smashed down where his head had been just seconds before leaving a chilling crack in the chair.

Arthur drew the knife from his boot and looked between it and the golem for a moment, realising that realistically this tiny blade was not going to do an awful lot against the creature. Merlin had the same realisation at the same time but fortunately was in a much better position to actually do something about it. He still wasn’t sure how to take down the golem but he knew that if Penton was controlling it there was a good chance it would simply fall apart if something were to happen to the sorcerer. Merlin looked around the room for inspiration and then – closing his eyes to hide the glow – let out a small push with his magic to bring the chandelier crashing down on top of him. Not exactly an original idea he thought as he looked down at the motionless sorcerer on the floor, but damn effective all the same. He just hoped no one would start questioning why it is that the castle seems to be filled with particularly weak chandeliers. 

A loud roar jolted him from his thoughts and he turned to see the golem smash his fists down on the floor as Arthur rolled out of the way. Well… shit, Merlin thought. On the bright side a few people around the room seemed to be starting to move, the spell that had been holding them having broken when the sorcerer died. Merlin looked around the room again desperately trying to think of some way to help that didn’t involve some sort of very obvious display of magic.

“Made of earth and born of fire, made of earth and born of fire, made of earth and born of fire,” he muttered as he looked around, “made of earth and born of –” he saw the pitcher sitting next to him “-fire.” He grabbed the pitcher and threw the contents over the golem who shrieked in pain, he lobbed the jug at his head too for good measure but that seemed to be less effective. It wasn’t enough though, even though the creature seemed to be burned from the liquid it continued its tirade. Maybe he hadn’t watered that wine down as much as he thought after all. Merlin looked around frantically for another water source but suddenly the roaring stopped. He turned back to the golem just in time to see its head roll to the ground as it collapsed to reveal Gwen standing behind it wielding what looked very much like a meat cleaver.

“Guinevere,” Arthur murmured breathlessly as he stood up, having fallen over in his efforts to avoid the creature’s fists, “you save my life.” He embraced her as she let the knife drop to the ground.

“Well,” she said as they pulled apart, “someone had to.” Arthur turned to face the rest of the guests at the feast and grabbed his cup.

“To the queen!” He toasted.

“To the queen!” The cry echoed round the hall. 

“I helped,” Merlin mumbled but Arthur heard him.

“Merlin?” Arthur said.

“Yes?”

“Clean this mess up,” he gestured to the pile of skin that has remained on the floor where golem Cressac had been sat.

“Yes sire.”

\---

Penton, it turned out, had ambushed the Cressac party on their way to Camelot. After murdering their leader, he had taken a drop of blood from each of the other members of the group and told them that if they so much as thought about telling anyone about what had happened he could use it to kill their entire family. This had all come out after many very apologetic members of the Cressac staff had come forward in the belief that they would also be held responsible for the crimes. Perhaps under Uther’s reign they would’ve done but Arthur was a much more reasonable man and could see that they had ben genuinely terrified for their families. They returned home the next day, most hopeful that the new Lord Cressac – some cousin of the previous one – would last a little longer this time.

\---

It was just two days later that the king and his servant sat in a comfortable silence in Arthur’s chambers. Arthur was looking over the latest tax reports from villages to the north whilst Merlin was mending a tunic with a hole in the sleeve. It was unusual for a servant to remain in their employer’s rooms like this for such a task but both of them were beyond pretending they didn’t just enjoy the company whilst they worked.

“Are you ever actually going to say it?” Merlin asked.

“Hmmm?” Arthur didn’t look up from his papers.

“Are you ever actually going to say I was right about Cressac?”

“You weren’t though.”

“What? I told you about the golem!”

“You said that you thought Cressac had a golem, not that he was one.” Arthur looked across the room at him.

“Pure semantics.”

“And don’t think I haven’t forgotten that you lied to me so you could break into his room.”

“Arthur the man was literally made of clay I think we’re beyond a little breaking and entering.” Merlin countered, “you really can’t say it can you? You can’t admit you were wrong and I was right.”

“I’m the king Merlin I don’t have to admit I was wrong and I certainly don’t have to say you were right.”

“You just did.”

“What?”

“You just said ‘you were right’ and I’m taking it.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“I’m counting it; you can’t stop me.” Merlin flashed him a grin as they settled back into silence. Although the exchange had been light hearted he could still see through it. After all this time he thought that there might be a point at which Arthur would listen to him and he had to admit that every time he was proven wrong it hurt just a little more than the last.

  
  
  



	2. Defining Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few snapshots of what an average week in Camelot consists of for Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in chapters, I'm pretty busy at the moment and even though I had this split into distinct sections in my head actually getting them down was a struggle for some reason.

It had been a full week since the Crassec incident and life in Camelot had moved on. Merlin had a rare free hour in the day and Gwaine had persuaded him to lunch at one of the inns downtown. He had a sneaking suspicion the knight was hoping for more of a liquid lunch but he also wasn’t one to turn down a free meal when offered. They made their way through the busy streets together with Gwaine sharing a story from his life before Camelot.

“So then this deer - you remember the deer? From earlier, with the bedsheet?” Gwaine looked over at Merlin expectantly.

“And the eyes?” Merlin replied.

“Yes! I’m telling you they were unnatural, anyway this deer comes hurtling through the door which turned out to be an excellent distraction for our dashing hero to make his escape. In a very courageous way of course.” 

“Of course,” Merlin nodded along, chuckling at the mental image.

“I would say that deer was on my side the whole time, but if that were the case it would’ve at least waited until I was dressed.” They had managed to reach their destination but upon entering the tavern their faces fell. “I don’t think I’ve seen it this busy since the coronation,” Gwaine muttered, “but come on, we’ll find a seat.”

“Ah, no! Stop please!” A voice rang out as they tried to make their way further inside, “I’m sorry but we’ve just no more room and my cook is threatening to quit if I send him anymore orders.” A short portly man bustled towards them, moving through the crowds with a surprising ease, “you’ll have to find somewhere else for- oh,” he paused as he caught sight of Gwaine’s cloak, “I’m so sorry my lord please excuse me, I didn’t realise we had a knight as a guest.” Most people would have missed it but Merlin noticed Gwaine squirming a little at that, despite outward appearances he knew his friend really wasn’t a fan of the arse-kissing the knights seemed to receive. “I’m sure I can find a spot for one more.” The man flashed him a smile.

“Excellent,” said Gwaine, “lead the way then.” They both made to follow the man as he moved back through the crowds but he turned and placed a hand on Merlin’s chest, stopping him.

“I said  _ one _ more,” he said, the greasy respect his voiced had previously been laced with disappearing.

“He’s with me,” Gwaine growled out, “I’m not just going to leave my friend at the door.”

“All due respect my lord but it is one thing if we add an extra order to the list for someone such as yourself but if I can’t just go letting in everyone that drops by, we’d run out of food! I thought there was a servants’ mess hall in the castle anyway?”   
“And I’m sure it’s much nicer than the slop you undoubtedly serve here,” Gwaine replied, grabbing Merlin by the arm and turning to leave, “come on Merlin, you can steal us something from the kitchens.” Once they reached the street again Merlin turned back to him.

“You didn’t have to do that you know, I know you’ve been talking about their roast beef sandwich for at least a week now.”

“Of course I did, I wasn’t going to sit there and eat alone. Or more likely, eat alone whilst that toad stared at me.” Gwaine stopped walking and turned to him, “Merlin you do as much for this kingdom as any knight and deserve the same respect, even if the people or the queen don’t see it.”

“What does Gwen have to do with-”

“Not who I meant,” Gwaine smiled at him and kept walking. It was nice to know that his friend saw him, thought Merlin, but he still couldn’t quite get the image of the landlord’s face from his head when he hadn’t been able to fathom why a knight would be so bothered about eating with a servant.

\---

Most people in the castle could still remember a time when the queen had walked the halls in a very different way, often hot on the heels of the Lady Morgana and carrying out some chore or another. She may hold her head taller now and her clothes are a far cry from what she was used to back then, but ultimately she has not really changed and it was for this reason that it was rarely questioned when she was seen choosing to spend time in the company of her husband’s servant. 

Within Camelot, Gwen was Merlin’s oldest friend. They used to spend their days sharing long-suffering looks during drawn out feasts and catching up on court gossip in the laundry room. Now instead they shared those same looks as yet another stuffed up lord complained about tax rates in council meetings and swapped rumours about nobles and servants alike over tea in the castle gardens. Magic aside, there was no one that knew Merlin better. Although he wouldn’t admit it even Arthur was sometimes a little envious of their bond but he could never quite put his finger on just which one of them he was jealous of. 

Currently they could be found whispering conspiratorially in one of the window seats in the east wing. This had been a favourite spot of theirs when Gwen was still a servant as this small area acted as somewhat of a heat trap and the thick curtains fell in such a way that it was easy to stay hidden from passersby. They had draped themselves easily into the space with Merlin pulling his legs up onto the seat to lean against the window and Gwen resting against them comfortably as they picked from a bowl of fruit between them.

“Lord Humphries knows about his wife,” Merlin said popping a grape into his mouth.

“No way! How do you know?”

“The stable hand.”

“The one that-”

“The very same,” he nodded, “he was bragging about it to his friend when I was brushing Arthur’s horse down yesterday. Apparently he’s always known.”

“What? Then why doesn’t he do anything about it?”

“It was his idea,” Merlin lent in closer to whisper, “he likes to watch.” Gwen nearly spat out the bite of apple she’d just taken in shock and Merlin laughed as she coughed for a moment before slapping him lightly on the leg.

“Give me some warning next time!” She said, still a little out of breath, “if I choke on fruit because of something you told me it counts as regicide now.”

“Yeah whatever,” Merlin rolled his eyes, “did you hear about the spiders in Lord Melton’s bed?”

“He fired his manservant for that.”

“It was his mistress, she was angry with him because he told her his wife was dying.”

“His wife  _ is  _ dying though, everyone knows that.”

“Apparently not, she’s just staying with a cousin in France for the season and he’s been telling ladies at court that she’s dying just so he’ll have someone to warm his bed!”

“So she put spiders in his bed?”

“Well, she got her maid to. That’s who told me.”

“I can’t say I blame her,” Gwen said, “I never liked him, you know he tried to get me alone in his chambers once when I was still working?” Merlin shook his head as she continued, “it’s a shame for his servant though, not many people are hiring at the moment.”

“I’d feel bad for him if the bloke wasn’t such an arse, always used to jump the queue in the kitchen when it came to fetching dinner. Even tried to argue that his lord’s meal was more important than the king’s once and whilst I’m not saying Arthur’s going to starve within a few minutes I still don’t want to deal with his reaction if I’m late.”

“Oh did you hear about Andrew?”

“The footman?” Merlin shook his head “No.”

“Well apparently he-” she was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind the curtain. Gwen peeled back the fabric to reveal a wiry man with a long thick mustache standing there and her personal maid a few steps behind him.

“I’m sorry my lady, I know you said you were busy this afternoon but he said it was really important and-” the maid was cut off when the man held his hand up. Merlin gave Gwen a questioning look as she sighed.

“Merlin this is Terrence, he’s the decorator Arthur hired for my new sewing room,” she gestured to the man. “Terrence this is Merlin, he’s-”

“The king’s servant my lady, everyone in the castle knows who the boy is.” Gwen gave him a sharp look for interrupting her but didn’t say anything as he continued, “I’m sorry to disturb you from your err -  _ busy  _ afternoon your majesty but I have the most pressing issue and it absolutely cannot wait.” Gwen gestured for him to go on but he remained silent.

“Arthur’s giving you a sewing room?” Merlin took advantage of the gap to ask.

“It’s an anniversary present, it’s so thoughtful really I didn’t even know he had noticed that I missed it” Gwen answered before turning back to Terrence, “well?”

“He didn’t, I suggested it to him months ago I just didn’t know he actually listened.” Merlin muttered.

“Well you see my lady,” Terrence continued, “it’s something of a rather sensitive nature, for the queen’s ears only.” He gave Merlin a pointed look.

“A sensitive nature?” Merlin asked.

“Yes.” Terrence nodded.

“In a sewing room?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“What is it? Struggling to decide on a tapestry?” Merlin asked sarcastically but the man didn’t answer. He looked from Gwen to the designer but no one moved to fill the awkward silence. “I’ll just… be going then?” he said extracting himself from the seat. 

“That’s probably for the best,” Terrence said with a haughty look.

“Right sure, I’ve got armour to polish anyway.” He shook his head and left them to it as he heard Terrence begin to prattle on about cushion covers. He was used to his time with his friend being interrupted by someone who thought they had something more important to talk to the queen about but this might be a new low.

\---

Merlin hadn’t been completely lying when he said he took on some of Gaius’ rounds in the lower town, he did do that it just hadn’t been what he needed to do on that particular afternoon. It’s what he was doing now though. 

“That wound seems to be healing nicely,” Merlin said to Owen as he replaced his bandages with fresh ones. Owen was a farmer that had been on the wrong end of a nasty incident with a pitchfork last week but luckily the injury seemed to have missed all of his vital organs. “Just keep taking this to prevent infection,” he handed him a bottle from his medicine bag.

“Well I won’t thank you for that I’m afraid,” Owen said taking the bottle with a grimace, “but I do appreciate the care you’ve been giving me Merlin, I don’t know what this town would do without you or Gaius.”

“Without Gaius? Camelot would fall,” Merlin said with a smile as he did his bag back up. He turned and nodded at the bottle in Owen’s hand, “try taking it with some honey, makes it taste better and it’s more effective.”

“Thanks again Merlin,” Owen was cut off with a knock on the door and Merlin didn’t miss the look he shared with his wife as she went to open it.

“We don’t have it-” Merlin strained to listen to the conversation going on behind him as he finished up with Owen.

“We’re here on business from the king.. Can’t refuse-” he heard a male voice say.

“Who’s at the door?” He asked Owen.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” replied the farmer with a less than reassuring smile.

“What’s wrong Owen?” He said taking a serious tone.

“It’s nothing, it’s just,” Owen sighed, “these taxes are really hitting us this time. I know better than to speak ill of the king but this is a higher price than it ever was in Uther’s time now and with this injury I’ve not been able to work as much…” he trailed off.

“What taxes?” Merlin asked, “Arth- I mean, the king’s not put taxes up since taking the throne, in fact he put them down a month ago. It’s not even collection time at the moment anyway.”

“Well I don’t know about that, we just give the guard what they tell us to.”

“How long has this been going on?” Merlin frowned.

“About 3 months maybe? It’s not just us either, most people on this street are struggling.”

Merlin finished wrapping the wound in silence before gathering his things and turning to leave. “I’ll see what I can find out about these taxes,” he said, “I don’t know why the guards would be collecting them now but I’m sure someone will know what’s going on.”

“Thank you Merlin,” said Owen’s wife Nia, “but you really shouldn’t trouble yourself, I’m sure you’re busy enough as it is.”

“Don’t be silly of course I’ll look into it, even if the king does seem to have a frankly ridiculous number of socks to wash,” he replied with a grin and a roll of his eyes before leaving. 

As Merlin made his way back up the street in the direction of the castle he couldn’t help but notice how quiet it was. Usually any part of the lower town was a flurry of activity at this time of day but this street was nearly empty, up ahead he noticed two of Camelot’s guards knocking on the door to a house and he ducked out of sight so he could listen in without being caught.

“Tax collection,” he heard the gruff voice of one of the guards. Gavin? Edgar? He’s normally quite good with names but there are just so many guards he’s only really familiar with the ones that spend most of their time in the castle.

“Please,” a woman’s voice pleads from inside the house, “this is all we have left, there’s no more left to give.” Merlin risked peeking his head around the corner and saw the woman handing a small coin purse through the crack of the open door.

“Well not to worry,” the other guard leered, putting his hand on the door and forcing it open fully, “we’re not animals, I’m sure we can come to some other arrangement for a pretty lady such as yourself.”

“No, please, I’ll find it some other way I just need more time I-” Merlin had heard enough.

“Hey!” He shouted, stepping forward, “what are you doing?”

“Move along boy,” one of the guards turned to him, “this is official business of the crown nothing to concern yourself with.”

“Oh but you see,” he came up level with the guards, “I work for the king, so business of the crown pretty much  _ is  _ my business and as far as I’m aware taxes aren’t due to be collected for at least another two weeks so I was wondering, just what are you collecting?”

“I know this one,” the other guard said, “you’re the king’s servant.”

“Ha!” laughed the first one, “not exactly an important figure at court then!”

“You’re stealing from these people, I suggest you return what you’ve taken.” Merlin straightened his back and ignored their dismissive tone.

“Or what? What are you going to do about it?”

“Or the king will know about it before you even get back to the barracks. I might just be his servant but that doesn’t mean he won’t listen to me.”

“Oh please,” one of them stepped forward so close that Merlin could smell his stale breath, “that’s exactly what it means. Like the king would actually listen to you, everyone in the city has heard how he talks to you you’re just a serving boy. Now piss. Off.” He turned to go back to the house.

“I said give them their money back.” Merlin replied.

“And I said get lost!” The guard turned back to Merlin and gave him a shove, he stumbled backwards and tripped down the stairs to the house.

“Hey there!” shouted a voice from down the street and Merlin turned to see Lancelot jogging towards them, “What’s going on here?” he asked bending down to help Merlin up.

“Just having some trouble with the tax collection my lord,” one of the guards replied, “you know how it can be around here.”

“Are you alright?” Lancelot asked Merlin.

“I’m fine, they’re lying though,” he jerked his chin towards the guards, “it’s not even collection time.”

“I know,” he turned to the guards, “explain yourselves.”

“We’re just being proactive milord, getting ahead on our duties so the townspeople have more time to save before the next round.”

“Is this right?” Lancelot directed his question at the woman at the door who shuffled nervously but didn’t answer. “It’s ok, you can tell me what’s going on. You’re safe.”

“No milord, they’ve been here every other day demanding more each time. We’ve always been upstanding people on this street, never given any trouble but this is too much we can’t afford it anymore!” On hearing this Lancelot turned to the guards, his expression darkening.

“Hand it over,” he held out his hand. With some reluctance the guards dropped a heavy coin purse into his hand which he handed to Merlin, “will you see that the people are refunded?”

“Of course.”   
“You two, back to the castle now!” Merlin wasn’t sure he’d ever heard the normally calm Lancelot shout at someone like that before but he was damn glad he wasn’t on the receiving end of it. As he made his way back down the street and handed the people their coin back he thought on what the guards had said to him. Arthur would’ve listened to him about something like this, of course he would have done He was sure of it. Probably.

\---

  
  


Despite his complaints about the work there were some chores that Merlin didn’t mind quite so much. The time he spent in the laundry room was one of them. Officially he didn’t have to wash Arthur’s clothes himself and he could just hand them to the maids to be done with the rest of the castle’s washing but he rather enjoyed the atmosphere down there. Besides, it was better than the next chore on his list which was mucking out the stables - also not technically the responsibility of a manservant but something his royal pratness insisted he did it himself. Merlin shook his head and tried not to think about it, he’d had a good day so far. He was awake early enough for breakfast, it was nice weather out but not so hot that he’d needed to carry the water bucket for the knights’ training session more than twice, and he could already hear the giggling coming from the washing room up ahead which meant there were bound to be some good tales told today.

“Afternoon ladies,” he said as he pushed the door open with his shoulder and maneuvered the basket of clothes through, “how is everyone today?” He didn’t miss how the chatter fell to a silence as he entered.

“Hi Merlin,” said Lily, maid to one of the ladies of court. She had been working here almost as long as him and the two were friendly, “we were just talking about this new boy that’s courting Megan.” She nodded to one of the girls kneeling in front of a tub of water. 

“Shh Lily,” the girl whispered, throwing a cautious glance in his direction.

“Oh,” he said, setting the basket down and beginning to sort through the contents, “do we not approve?” he asked with a grin. The girls all shared a look but no one answered.

“I’ll take that,” said Mary, taking the basket from him.

“No don’t worry about it,” he said, “I’ll do it.”

“Don’t be silly,” she batted his hands away, “you’re the king’s manservant you don’t need to be bothering with this sort of thing.”

“I’ve always done it before,” he said but no one answered him. The silence stretched on uncomfortably and Lily shot him a sympathetic look, “but I guess I’ll just… head off then.” He frowned at the strange atmosphere but no one answered him so he slipped back out the door. He was halfway down the corridor when he heard someone calling his name.

“Merlin!” He turned to find Lily rushing to catch up with him, “don’t take it personally you know.”

“What was that about?” He asked her.

“It’s not about you, it’s just-” she sighed, “they normally love you in there but there are just some things they maybe don’t want getting back to the king, you know?”

“What?” He had to stop himself laughing, “I don’t go in there to spy on them, even if I did try to tell Arthur he wouldn’t care about castle gossip. In fact any time I do talk about it he just tells me to shut up.”

“Yes well, some things just aren’t worth the risk.”

“What are you talking about?”   
“Megan’s new boy,” she looked around, double checking they were alone, “he’s a druid.”

“Oh,” Merlin said, “I won’t say anything.”

“ _ I _ know that. But the girls, they worry.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “I get it I guess. I wouldn’t want to tell the king if I was seeing a druid.” He didn’t let on just how much he was talking from experience there.

“Are you upset?”   
“Upset? No! I understand, besides they’re not wrong I do have other things I need to be getting on with today,” he tried to hide a grimace as he thought about the stables, “I’ll catch up with you later Lily.” As he headed off to the horses he tried to pinpoint just when he’d entered this bizarre place of status-limbo. Seemingly too close to the nobility to be true friends with the servants but still too much a servant to be recognised amongst the courtiers. 

\---

It was a hunt, just a regular hunt. This sun was shining, there was a gentle breeze passing through the forest, it was the perfect day for a hunt. You know, if you liked that sort of thing. Killing poor defenceless animals for fun, Merlin didn’t get it. What he didn’t mind on a day like today though was the opportunity that being giving a beater’s stick afforded him and that was the opportunity to wander off and just enjoy the woods for a time. There were plenty of beaters on the hunt and if anyone started to wonder where he’d gone he could simply smack the undergrowth a couple of times and veer back in the right direction. Arthur was safe enough surrounded by knights that he didn’t have to worry about keeping an eye on him and he could easily stay within hearing distance. So really, Merlin supposed, it wasn’t that bad of a hunt after all.    
That’s when he heard the crying. It sounded like a young child but - and it took him a moment to realise this - he could only hear it in his head. It sounded like it was coming from nearby so, with a quick glance to make sure no one from the hunting party was watching him, he headed off in that direction. It didn’t take him long to find them. Two children in a ditch beneath a tree, a young boy who could be no more than four summers old was sniffling in the arms of an older girl who looked to be around thirteen herself, his sister Merlin supposed. They were both dressed in robes similar to those of the druids.

“ _ What’s wrong?”  _ he asked with the druid mind speak bending down to see them.   
_ “Emrys,”  _ the boy sounded hopeful as they turned to look at him. The girls showed signs of recognition but quickly clutched the boy tighter and tried to shuffle backwards.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said out loud, holding out a hand, “I can help.” The girl stopped moving but didn’t release her brother from her tight hold.   
“We’re fine,” she hissed at him, “we don’t need help from you.”

“But Nesta,” muttered the boy in a small voice, looking up at her, “it’s  _ Emrys _ . He’ll keep us safe.” He turned to Merlin who returned his tentative smile.   
“Emrys doesn’t help druids,” Nesta shot Merlin a distrustful look, “he works for the king. Wherever he is the king follows, we’re not safe here.”   
“You’re always safe with me,” Merlin tried to reassure her, “Arthur’s not even close right now.”

“He will be soon, and then he’ll take us away and torture us until we tell him where the rest of the camp is so he can slaughter them to but I won’t do it! I won’t let them take me!” She began to hoist her brother up but the sounds of the hunt drew closer and they both fell back into the ditch with a whimper.

“He wouldn’t do that,” Merlin said. “The king, he wouldn’t do that he doesn’t approve of torture especially not of children.”

“That’s not what our dad said,” the girl replied, “he said that you must be dumb or blind because there was no way that a Pendragon could be the once and future king. That if we ever saw either of you we should run because he would kill us.”   
“Well not only would Arthur not do that,” Merlin took a cautious step forward, “I wouldn’t let him.”

“And how would you stop him,” she had tears in her eyes now, “you haven’t stopped any of the sorcerers that have gone to the pyre so far why would we be any different?” she was whisper yelling now, “Emrys turned his back on the druids long ago, you choose to serve the murdering king and ignore the cries of your people. The druids have learnt to manage without your help even if most of them don’t acknowledge it yet but we will not be a pawn in your game, not anymore.” Merlin sat back on his heels out of shock at her outburst.   
“Arthur hasn’t harmed a druid since he was crowned, and there hasn’t been a single burning.” He offered weakly but even he knew it wasn’t enough as he said it.   
“Merlin!” He heard the king shouting as the hunt drew nearer and all three looked up at the noise.

“Oh yes?” The girl turned back to him, put her brother down, and stood up. “Why don’t you introduce us then?”   
“What?” He asked.

“ _ Mer _ lin!” The party was drawing closer.

“If you know your king won’t hurt us, then maybe we should meet him.” She looked him straight in the eyes and took her brother’s hand.

“Merlin you better not be napping behind a tree somewhere!”

“You should go.” He broke eye contact.

“MERLIN!”

“”Run,” and they did.

“There you are,” Merlin looked up to see a blonde head poking over the ditch, “where the hell have you been?”

“I err… fell?” He offered.

“Of course you did,” Arthur rolled his eyes, “come on, get up.” He held out a hand and pulled him out of the ditch. “What were you doing over here anyway?”

“Thought I saw a bear.”

“A bear?”

“Yes”

“Bears don’t live in these woods.”

“Yes that’s why I thought it was odd, maybe it was lost.”

“ _ Mer _ lin.”

“No bear though, must have been the wind.”

“Come on idiot,” Arthur gave him a shove back towards the main hunting party, “you’ve got rabbits to skin.”

“Oh joy.”    
The rest of the hunt continued without event but Merlin couldn’t stop turning over the girl’s words in his head. Did the druids really think he’d turned his back on them? Had he turned his back on them? He didn’t think he had but when he really thought about it he supposed he could see their point. Arthur wasn’t a new king anymore and yet they were no closer to the golden age they had been hoping for since his birth. Maybe he had let his destiny down, let the people relying on him down. Merlin glanced across at Arthur who was laughing at something one of the knights said, he had given everything for his king and his kingdom but if he stopped to think about it he wasn’t really sure that if someone asked him he could really tell them exactly what it was that he had achieved. He closed his eyes against the sting of hot tears and all he could see was the fear on Nesta’s face when she had realised who he was. It’s not enough, he thought, this will never be enough for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't promise it's going to get better in the near future.


	3. Breaking Point

It had taken years but Arthur had finally perfected the art of looking fascinated by whatever dull report was being read out to the council whilst simultaneously letting his mind wander to other topics without anyone being any the wiser. At least, he thought he had. Merlin knew better, of course, he knew the king’s face better than anyone. So that was why when Leon was reaching the end of this (frankly colossal) report he purposely let his hand slip when refilling Arthur’s cup, splashing the king with water to wake him up.

“ _ Mer _ lin you idiot,” Arthur jumped back as Merlin patted at the spill with a cloth.

“Sorry sire,” he muttered. He didn’t mind playing the fool most of the time, and he _was_ playing at this point. He’d been in Camelot for nearly ten years, servants don’t spill drinks after ten years. In fact he was pretty far removed from the country boy he had been on first arriving here but sometimes letting others think he was still just as clumsy had its advantages. No one would think the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth would still manage to trip  _ up _ the stairs after all (and that definitely wasn't just him tripping over his feet, you shouldn't believe what the king says these royal types make stuff up all the time). Sometimes these moments were difficult though, when it came down to a choice of letting Arthur embarrass himself by not listening in meetings or switching the focus to himself it wasn’t really a question. Still, is this really what his destiny meant by helping the once and future king reach the throne? It didn’t exactly do wonders for his own reputation.

“Thank you Leon,” Arthur said as Merlin stepped back. “Next on the agenda we must discuss the winter provisions, Mordred do you have the figures back from the farmers?”

“Yes my lord,” the young knight replied, “there is a distinct divide amongst the estates this year. To the west, the farms have flourished and the crops have been particularly bountiful, however the lands to the east have fallen victim to a blight that has left them with very little. Overall across the kingdom the produce is just a little lower than last year but the distribution is very uneven.”

“Exactly how bad will the east suffer if left with their own supplies?” Arthur asked.

“There is enough in most estates for the great houses but it would be a difficult winter amongst the peasants without help my lord.”

“Well it seems like an obvious solution to me,” Gwen spoke up from Arthur’s left, “if the west has fared so well this year we can simply redistribute their excess to those that would struggle in the east.” Arthur was nodding along in agreement as she spoke.

“Forgive me my lady but it’s not as simple as that,” Sir Pendry said. He was the third son of one of the lords that owned land to the west and did not make any attempt to hide his unkind feelings about the common born knights. He was normally a bit more subtle about his feelings towards the queen but it didn’t take a genius to work out what he thought about the king marrying a former maid. Unsurprisingly, Merlin had never liked him. “The court can’t just force the estates to give away their harvest past the point of mandatory taxation. The crops are owned by the western lords, it is not their responsibility to see to the welfare of those in the east. Besides I struggle to see what the real issue is, the report said there would be enough food for the noble houses anyway. If the peasants haven’t set aside the coin to purchase extra from other areas that is not their fault. Why punish the land owners for the irresponsibility of the common?”

He continued on in the same vein but Merlin wasn’t listening. The knight's words brought back painful memories of the harsh winters of his childhood. Of knowing his mother was kept awake at night by the pain of hunger even though she refused to eat the little they had, instead insisting he took it or giving it to the other families with even younger children - because it was painful when it got bad, that was something no one born into privilege had ever learnt. True hunger  _ hurt. _ He looked down at the pitcher in his hands to hide his face from the table and he saw his hands. These hands that dug the graves of children in the winter because his magic made him one of the stronger ones and the dead still needed burying even if most were too weak to lift a shovel at that point.  _ The irresponsibility of the common _ he had called it. Why didn’t they just buy more food? He had to squash a laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the question but just as quickly as it came the urge went away to be replaced by pure rage at the ignorance of this knight. He had to restrict that just as quickly though as he felt his magic start to bubble under the surface, or was that just his blood boiling?

“A crop blight is not the irresponsibility of the common,” he was talking before he even made the decision to speak, stepping up to the table to address Pendry. “It is a disease that decimates crops, villages, towns, just about anything really. Why should the food go to the noble houses before the peasants? Why should they be the ones to starve? You say that the crops are owned by the lords but I am yet to meet a lord that would know which way up to hold a hoe let alone be able to tend to a farm. You are meant to be a knight of Camelot, sworn to protect the kingdom and its people but you would rather let them starve and die than give up food that will surely go to waste anyway! You have no idea what it means to be without in the winter, why would you? You’ve never had to feel like your stomach is trying to eat itself because you haven’t fed it in days. You haven’t had to bury your dead, those that were already too vulnerable to survive yet another winter without,” in the back of his mind he vaguely registered Arthur calling his name but he didn’t care, he had to make them understand. “You have never watched as those in privilege throw their food away because it is not to their liking whilst entire villages disappear off the map because they can’t afford to  _ just buy more food.  _ Or, I suppose, you have seen that. It just doesn’t register to someone like you.”

“Merlin that is enough!” Arthur roared as he stood and turned to face it. Merlin went to open his mouth again but he was cut short, “No,” Arthur held up his hand, “you’ve said enough. If I wanted your opinion on this I would have asked for it but I didn’t. Now stand back and try, for once, to just do your job.” Merlin took a step backwards but didn’t look away as Arthur turned back to the table. “Sir Pendry, allow me to apologise for my manservant’s unexpected outburst. Obviously he must have too much free time on his hands at the moment for his mind to wander but I’m sure I can rectify that.”

“It is forgiven my lord-” Pendry continued on but Merlin wasn’t listening. He hadn’t actually meant to lay into Pendry quite that much but he’d heard everyone at this table say far worse in these meetings when tensions ran high. Arthur wouldn’t have asked for his opinion, he thought, he never did. Merlin offered of course, he gave his opinion unprompted on something nearly every day but it seemed like lately that was being ignored more and more. Within a few weeks of arriving at Camelot Arthur was willing to take his word as enough evidence to accuse Valiant in front of Uther, years later he wouldn’t even entertain the thought that Agravaine could betray him and instead was willing to believe that it was Gaius that would turn on him. Merlin had been by his side for years at that point but he believed him less then than he did just weeks after meeting him. 

He looked out over the table at his friends. At Lancelot, who would never have been a knight if Merlin hadn’t introduced him to the then-prince. Who still wouldn’t have been a knight had he not contacted him after Morgana’s first takeover. At Gwaine, born a noble but who had chosen to live the life of a commoner. Until, of course, he met Merlin. Until he had seen Arthur and Camelot through his eyes and realised he didn’t want to leave again. At Gwen, now queen but who would have been burnt at the stake were it not for him. He cast his eyes over the rest of the knights thinking about all the ways he had helped each and every one of them at some point whether they knew it was him or not. Most of the people in this room wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him. His eyes landed on the blond head in front of him. Of course, Arthur was the reason he did it. It was all worth it to see him become the king he was destined to be. He had given everything for that, for destiny’s promise of a golden age and freedom for all. But with every execution for magic that dream seemed further and further away. The insults cut deeper recently, the mocking turning harsh. He had barely noticed until now as everything from the last ten years hit him as a wave. Every insult, every injury, every moment of bowing and scraping to people that had never and would never show an ounce of gratitude because the only thanks he could ever hope to receive for his true actions would be the executioner's block. No one had noticed his face turn to stone in the council chamber as these thoughts mounted. Of course they hadn’t, why would they? They might have been his friends once upon a time but they had all been raised to a status far above his own and where was he? He looked at the floor and saw his toe poking out from the front of his boot, still just a servant with a hole in his shoe. He looked back at Arthur, his king, he was told once that his destiny was to guide Arthur to becoming a great king but how was he supposed to do that if he never even listened to him? Or maybe he had already done it, he considered, here they were after all. Arthur was king, beloved by his people and now well established as a much fairer ruler than his father had ever been. Maybe this was it, could this be as far as they were meant to go? Arthur was king and Merlin? Merlin was done.

As he thought the words he felt a clarity that he had never before experienced. He knew what he had to do now and even as he considered it he felt… nothing. Not sorrow, not rage, just a hollowness deep within him as he realised just how very tired he was. No one paid him any attention as he slowly walked forwards towards the table, he vaguely noted Lancelot talking and making the same points he had just moments before. It must have only been moments but it could have been years for all Merlin could tell. As he reached the table he leant forward to place the pitcher down with a thud and brought his mouth level with Arthur’s ear so that only he could hear him as he whispered.

“I quit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the idea that sparked this entire fic. This chapter is a lot shorter only because I really wanted it to end on those words, I was originally going to include what will now be next chapter with it but I just couldn't get past that ending. 
> 
> Don't worry there's going to be some Arthur POV at some point, I know I'm painting him in a pretty bad light and he's actually not getting an awful lot of 'screen time' right now but I am going to fix that.


	4. Splintered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath to Merlin's sudden resignation.

Arthur had been focussed on listening to Lancelot’s point so it took him a moment to register what Merlin had said, by the time he did his servant was already closing the door of the side exit behind him as he calmly left the room. He shot from his seat and bolted after him, not caring how that would look to some of the more traditional members of the council. He barely even registered Guinevere dismissing the meeting behind him as he left. “Merlin!” He shouted as he followed him out the door, he could see him walking away further down the hall but he didn’t stop, “Merlin, stop.” He caught up with him and grabbed him by the shoulder to turn him. “What the hell was that?” He asked.   
“My resignation.” Merlin’s reply was so calm you’d think he was talking about the weather.   
“You’re resig-” Arthur almost started laughing but stopped at the look on Merlin’s face, “you’ve got to be joking.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“But-” Arthur flounded for a moment, “you can’t just quit Merlin, I won’t allow it.”

“You won’t allow it?” Merlin scoffed, “well that’s not really up to you, is it  _ sire _ ?”

“I don’t understand, why would you want to quit?”

“Well now look who’s joking.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you’re serious aren’t you?” Merlin ran a hand through his hair in disbelief, “you know I always knew you were a bit wrapped up in your own head but I didn’t think you were quite that oblivious. You actually can’t even imagine why I would want to leave? You don’t think that maybe the years of abuse have something to do with it?”   
“Abuse? What the hell are you talking about, has someone been hurting you?” Arthur’s frustration turned to worry.

“You mean other than the king that throws metal goblets at me just for waking him up? No, not in the way you’re thinking. I’m just-” Merlin sighed and Arthur felt like he was looking at him for the first time in years as he noticed the dark shadows under his eyes, and had he always been that skinny? “I’m  _ tired _ Arthur. I can’t do it anymore, I can’t just keep pretending like everything’s ok when it’s not! Everything is actually terrible a lot of the time!”   
“But you don’t have to quit, that’s an overreaction. Why didn’t you just say something?” Arthur knew he’d said something wrong by the way Merlin’s expression hardened.   
“I did!” Merlin was shouting now, “I always have! But I learnt long ago that there’s very little point in that because the great King Arthur doesn’t need to take advice from someone as lowly as a servant; he has plenty of people far more worthy than that!” As he was talking Merlin felt a tugging deep in his chest, as if a thread was being pulled taught. 

“Now hang on a second-” Arthur tried to interrupt but Merlin carried on.

“No, I know what you’re going to say. You’re not like that because you knighted commoners and married a maid and you know what? You’re right. You have become a great king, you’re fair and just and your people love you. I see it every day in the way that you treat everyone from the lords in court to the scullery maids. But apparently that doesn’t apply to me, because when it comes to how you treat me you still act like the same arrogant prince I met nearly a decade ago most of the time.”   
“Now that’s not fair,” Arthur began but was cut off again.

“Isn’t it? Think about it, but actually  _ really _ think about it. Look at everyone you surround yourself with and really think. I have faced off dragons and witches and the undead for you. Even more terrifying, I used to lie to your father for you! But here I am at the end of it all, still mucking out your stables - which by the way isn’t even in my job description and I know you know that.” The thread in Merlin’s chest wound tighter with every word but he ignored it and pressed on, “I mean come on Arthur you’re not slow to show your appreciation in most cases, you knighted Percival about a minute after meeting him and I’m pretty sure Morded is still an actual child. I’ve always been there too, I was at that table! I sat at your side, I stood by you and look where it’s gotten me. Just being dismissed out of hand for saying something that I’m pretty sure you agree with anyway!”    
“You know Merlin, I thought you didn’t care about such things and now you’re saying you’re quitting because I didn’t knight you? Is that why you’ve stayed all this time? In the hopes that you could get something from me?” Arthur raised his voice now too, it wasn’t proper for the king to be having a shouting match with his servant in the hallway but they were both beyond caring about that.    
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Merlin snapped, “I stayed because I believe in you and I believe in the kingdom you’re building.” Arthur had been sure that Merlin was genuinely loyal and not just staying for his own gain but the confirmation of this brought an unexpected wave of release as the tension dropped from his shoulders. “I don’t want to be a knight. I’ve never wanted that but for once it would be nice if you could just listen to me, if you could actually take me seriously!”

“All I do is listen to you Merlin, you never shut up.”

“Not when it’s important you don’t! Not when it’s something you don’t want to hear or something that might embarass you in front of someone more important than me, which is pretty much the entire kingdom at this point.”

“If you really think that any of that is actually true then maybe you should go.”

“I will, I am! I just quit, or were you not listening then too?”

“Fine, get out!” Arthur yelled.

“Fine!” The thread snapped.

For a moment, neither of them moved. They stood just looking at each other in shock. Then Merlin turned on his heel and left, leaving Arthur to wonder what the hell just happened.

\---

Back in the hall all but those closest to the king had left. Those that had stayed were waiting for one or both of the pair to return but instead had heard almost every word spoken. 

“I’m seventeen,” Mordred muttered, breaking the stunned silence that had fallen.

“I can’t believe that he’d actually quit,” Elyan said.

“Can’t say I blame him,” Gwaine replied, “well it’s not like he’s wrong is he?” He continued when everyone looked at him.

“It won’t last,” said Lancelot, “they’ll miss each other too much.”   
“I don’t know,” Percival chipped in, “they both sounded pretty angry.”   
“They’ve fought before,” said Leon.

“Never like that,” Gwen muttered, “they squabble constantly but they don’t actually argue like that.”   
“They’ll make up,” Mordred said, “they have to.”

“I should go find Arthur,” Gwen said before leaving.   
“Someone should talk to Merlin too,” said Leon. Lancelot nodded before following the queen out of the room.

“Wait a minute,” Gwaine said, turning to Mordred. “You’re only seventeen?” The other knight nodded sheepishly, “I’ve taken you drinking before!”

\---

Merlin wasn’t really thinking about where he was going so it wasn’t until he was standing in front of the door to Arthur’s chambers that he realised he was just walking a familiar route on instinct. He turned away from there and headed back to the rooms he shared with Gaius trying not to dwell too heavily on why that had been the first place he’d tried to go.    
“Ah Merlin, just in time,” Gaius said as he entered, “I need you to get me the essence of Betony from the top shelf over there.” Merlin didn’t move from his spot in the doorway as he took in the familiar sight of the physician standing over his workbench surrounded by an assortment of books and bottles. “Merlin?” Gaius turned to face him, concern lacing his voice as he noticed the lost expression on his wards’ face, “what’s wrong?”

“I quit,” Merlin murmured. 

“What was that?” Gaius put down what he was working on and walked over to him.

“I quit,” Merlin said louder this time, “I told Arthur that I quit, I’m not working for him anymore.”

“I think you better sit down and start from the beginning,” Gaius ushered him in and put a pot of water over the fire to make tea.

So Merlin told him everything. He told him about the druid children and the servants, about the council meeting and his outburst, and about how it all blew up. He talked until the tea was gone and he ran out of things to say, and Gaius listened. He knew that Merlin had been finding things tough recently but he’d had no idea how bad it had gotten. Whilst he did not necessarily agree with his decision one look at his Merlin’s face as he was speaking was enough to know that for now that’s not what he needed to hear.

“Oh my boy,” Gaius said softly when Merlin was done and reached out to place a comforting hand on his arm, “what about your destiny?”   
“Who said I needed to be a servant for that? Besides, maybe it’s already done. I got Arthur to the throne more or less in one piece, the rest is up to him. It can’t all be my responsibility all the time Gaius, it’s too much.”

“Well I can’t say I agree” Gaius sighed, “but it’s your decision and I can respect that.”   
“I’ve never done anything else though, what am I meant to do now?”   
“You have many talents other than polishing armor, Merlin.”   
“What am I meant to do that isn’t punishable by death?”   
“That’s not what I meant,” Gaius frowned at him, “you have always been welcome to work here with me. I am not a young man anymore and a full time assistant would be very useful.”   
“Really?”   
“You’ve had enough training to be a physician in your own right by now, but I am not quite ready to retire just yet so you’ll have to wait for that. If you’re planning on staying that is?”   
“I don’t want to leave,” Merlin said firmly, “Camelot is my home, just because I left my job doesn’t mean I don’t still want to be here. Besides, I still have some friends here.” There was a knock on the door before it opened and Lancelot poked his head in.   
“Hello? Oh good you’re here.” He said as he spotted Merlin and Gaius.   
“I need to get on with my evening rounds,” Gaius said as he picked up his bag, “I’ll leave you to it.”   
“Merlin-” Lancelot began as he sat opposite him.   
“If you’re here to convince me to go back I don’t want to hear it.”   
“I’m not,” Lancelot replied, “but you’ve told me so many times about this shared destiny you have with Arthur, what happens to that now?”   
“Why does everyone keep asking me about that?” Merlin sighed, “I have given everything for something that for all I can tell might be no more than druid folklore, what’s so wrong about finally putting myself first for once?”   
“Nothing, of course! I will support you with whatever you decide my friend but,” he hesitated, “you don’t really think it’s just folklore do you?”   
“No I don’t.” Merlin replied after a pause, “but I do think that there are other ways to go about it than as a servant. There has to be.” Lancelot nodded.   
“I really can’t persuade you to reconsider?”   
“Absolutely not.”   
“He does value you, you know.”   
“Well then maybe he should show it sometime.”   
“That I can’t argue with.” Lancelot held up his hands in defeat, “what will you do now?”   
“I’m going to work with Gaius.”   
“You’re not leaving then?”   
“No, and what’s with the assumption that I’m going to leave? Both you and Gaius asked me that.”   
“I just thought that if you weren’t working for Arthur anymore than staying in a kingdom where magic is outlawed might not be your first choice.”   
“That’s a fair point but no, I couldn’t leave.”   
“Well I’m glad to hear it, no one else is quite as good at breaking up Gwaine’s tavern brawls,” Lancelot joked and was relieved to see it elicit a small smile from his friend. 

\---

“Arthur?” the king didn’t look up as his wife entered the room, “what are you doing in here, I’ve been looking all over for you.” They were in the castle records room, it had taken Gwen nearly an hour to find him as this was one of the last places she had expected him to be.   
“I’m just looking for- ah ha!” Arthur held up his find triumphantly as he emerged from the cupboard he had been searching in. He turned to the table in the room and unfurled the contract.   
“About Merlin-” Gwen began but was cut off.   
“Don’t!” Arthur snapped and immediately regretted when he looked up and saw the look on her face, “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said in a softer tone, turning back to the table.   
“You’re not really going to let him leave are you?”   
“I don’t get a choice in the matter, he made that very clear.”   
“But-”

“Guinevere please,” he looked up from the paper on the table, “I really don’t want to dwell on that right now so unless you have something else that you wanted to discuss I’m really quite busy.”   
“No I don’t I just-” she sighed, “you two need each other more than you realise.” She wasn’t even sure Arthur heard her, his entire focus was now on the document in front of him but she didn’t wait for a response before leaving.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have an excuse for why this chapter took so long other than real life just getting in the way for a while, even though I’m working from home full time I work in an industry that is actually getting a lot busier with everything going on so I’ve been kinda swamped and after a full day of that the idea of sitting at a computer for hours again isn’t all that inviting... But now we’re on full lockdown that gives me plenty of time at the weekend!
> 
> I have finally decided on an ending too which I was still torn over not that long ago!


	5. Life Goes On...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For even though it may feel like everything’s changed, the world keeps turning and life goes on.

The next morning Merlin was halfway out the door before Gaius asked where he was going, it wasn’t until this that he realised he didn’t actually know. He was so used to the routine of rising early to get the king’s breakfast that he had almost forgotten the events of the day before.

“Umm, nowhere I suppose,” he said, sitting back down at the table. He didn’t miss the small sad look Gaius gave him before turning around and continuing to sort the supplies he would need for his morning rounds. Merlin tried to ignore the deep ache he seemed to feel in his bones as he thought about someone else doing his old job. He had made the right decision, he told himself. Besides just because he didn’t work for Arthur anymore didn’t mean that they couldn’t still be friends, right? But even as he thought about that he remembered the look on his face as he had shouted at him to get out yesterday. Arthur had thrown him out before, he’d even sacked him before (granted not for a few years) but he’d never looked quite so… broken.

Merlin was jolted from his thoughts as Gaius slid a piece of paper towards him. “I need to get going on my rounds, I’ve made a list of the medicines that need replenishing today and you’ve made most of them before. You can make a start on these whilst I’m out and I’ll show you the new ones this afternoon.” Merlin took the list and skimmed down it, most of the things on it were common draughts or ointments that he already made for Gaius on a regular basis.

“Sure, I can do that,” Merlin flashed him a grin but Gaius wasn’t convinced.

“It will get easier you know,” Gaius said softly and Merlin’s smile faltered, “I know what it is to give up a large part of your life, and you become accustomed to a new normal sooner than you think.” With that he left leaving Merlin to wonder if he actually wanted to become accustomed to this new normal.

A few hours later and Merlin was making good progress on the list, he had nearly finished all of the five different types of sleeping draughts and was preparing to move on to burn ointment when there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” he called without looking up from his work.

“Oh, Merlin,” Leon said as he entered, “is Gaius around?”

“He’s out,” Merlin said, putting down the bottle he was working with and looking up, “there’s a nasty fever passing through the cloth district in the lower town so his rounds are taking longer at the moment, but I can help. What’s wrong? Has something happ-” he paused as two guards followed the knight into the chambers, “-ened?”

“No, wait outside,” Leon muttered as he turned around to face the guards.

“But the king said-” one of them began.

“I know what he said and I’m saying wait outside, I will call you if I need you. Which I won’t.” Merlin frowned, it was unusual for any of the knights to contradict the king’s orders but especially Leon.

“What’s going on?” he asked as he stepped out from around the table and towards the door.

“Merlin,” Leon sighed as he closed the door behind him, “I’m sorry I really don’t want to do this.”

“Do what?” Merlin asked cautiously.

“Well it’s just,” Leon paused, the normally confident man looking uncharacteristically nervous, “can we sit?” he asked, gesturing towards the table they normally reserved for their meals. Merlin nodded and sat opposite him, noting that his friend didn’t seem to be able to look him in the eye.

“How much do you know about Gaius’ contract?” Leon said finally.

“His contract?”

“Of employment.”

“Nothing, why would I?”

“Well no I suppose you wouldn’t need to.”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at Leon but you’re starting to make me worry.” Merlin gave a weak chuckle.

“I suppose it would be best if I were just blunt with you,” Leon looked up at him, meeting his gaze, “according to his terms of employment the court physician is to be provided with accomodation and workspace by the crown.”

“Yes I know that much,” Merlin glanced around the room.

“As part of this there are certain restrictions as to the use of those rooms and one of them,” he paused again but Merlin said nothing, waiting for him to continue. “One of them is that aside from patients no guest is permitted for a stay of more than three consecutive nights and no more than a single time over a one month period.” Leon looked at him pointedly but Merlin was just as confused. “Which means Merlin, that technically according to Gaius’ contract… you can’t live here.” He finished quickly.

“But I’ve been here for years, no one’s ever said anything about some contract.” Merlin said but internally he already knew where this was coming from.

“Yes well, it had been overlooked before and it’s only been noticed recently.”

“Oh and I bet I can guess who noticed it,” Merlin said sharply but he couldn’t really stay angry. “Is he really kicking me out?” he said and Leon nearly broke apart at the hurt in his voice. He had always had a soft spot for Merlin, he had seen first hand exactly the sort of prince Arthur had been and he knew exactly who to thank for the king he had transformed into. He also had the ability to make him laugh in even the most serious of situations, although maybe that wasn’t always for the best thinking back to the fit of giggles he had barely been able to contain at Lord Henry’s wedding last month.

“I was sent to pass on the message that even though it is a breach of his contract Gaius will face no retribution for this, provided it stops immediately.”

“That’s what the guards are for then, to make sure I don’t kick up a fuss.” Leon opened his mouth as if to answer but shut it again without saying anything. He didn’t need to.

“I tried to persuade him out of it but… well you know better than anyone how difficult that can be. I don’t think he really means it, he’s just angry.”

“Angry?” Merlin exclaimed, “what does he have to be angry about? I’m the one that’s out of a job and now a home!”

“Not at you,” Leon quickly clarified, “at himself. I don’t think even he realises it yet but it’s not truly you he’s angry at.”

“It doesn’t matter either way I suppose,” Merlin stood up and headed back towards his room, “it’s me he’s taking it out on, nothing new there.” Leon followed Merlin up the stairs and leaned in the doorway, watching him pack.

“Stay in the citadel,” he said softly after a moment.

“Hmm,” Merlin hummed, not really looking up from what he was doing.

“I know it’s not cheap but- it’s your home Merlin you shouldn’t have to leave. You have friends here, I’m sure between us we could figure out some way to help-”

“Leon,” Merlin cut him off as his words started registering, “I have no intention of leaving the citadel and I don’t know why everyone seems to think I will, if Arthur actually wants to banish me he’s going to have to come up with a justifiable reason to do it because I’m not just going to leave. And as for affording it, you do realise how long I’ve held a senior position in the royal household? I’ve been here for years and my biggest outgoing has been sharing food costs with Gaius which are already subsidised as part of his pay, I have no worries financially speaking.” As if to emphasise his point Merlin pulled out a small chest from beneath the bed, as he put it on the table it let out a clinking noise indicating a substantial number of coins within.

“I don’t care who put you here, these are my chambers and you will let me through,” Gaius’ voice drifted in from the doorway where he was arguing with the guards stationed there.

“Let him in,” Leon turned back to the main chamber and Merlin used the opportunity to empty the floorboard beneath his bed as he finished packing the last of his things.

“Ah, Sir Leon,” Gaius entered and set his bag down, “what is the meaning of this?”

“Sorry Gaius, I’m just passing on a message from the king.”

“I see, and that message required armed backup?” Gaius raised an eyebrow.

“He’s evicting me,” Merlin explained as he carried his bags down into the main chamber, “Arthur that is not Leon obviously.”

“What?” Gaius said, eyes darting back and forth between his ward and the knight.

“I’ll umm, give you a minute.” Leon said as he slipped out the door.

“Merlin,” Gaius said in a soft tone, “what happened?”

“He - Arthur - invoked some clause in your contract that says you can’t have a guest for more than 3 nights and if I don’t leave he could fire you which, I mean I don’t think he’d actually do it but I also didn’t think he’d ever do this but here we are so I have to go.” Merlin said in a rush.

“But, you’ve been here for years. I know about that clause but I talked to Uther before you arrived all those years ago and he said not to worry about it.”

“And I am honestly shocked he kept his word on that we both know he never liked me but- it’s all academic now I suppose.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“I’ll find a room for a few nights before I can work something more permanent out, you said I was more than qualified to be a full physician so I can do that in the lower town. It’ll save you having to make rounds down there anyway.”

“You seem, surprisingly ok with this.”

“I am, ok with it, I mean,” Merlin sighed and his shoulders sagged, “well no of course I’m not. He is - was - my best friend and if I think about what it’s all turned into for too long then I feel like I’m going to come apart at the seams and all I really really want to do is head into the castle and tell him what an arse he’s being but that’s not really my job anymore is it? So I’m not going to think about it and really if Arthur doesn’t want me here then I don’t want to be here and I suppose if I’m down there in the lower town there’s far less chance of bumping into him, which is probably why he’s doing it in the first place because despite everything I don’t actually think he’s truly this cold hearted towards anyone. So yes I’m ok with it, except that I’m not, but I will be.” And when Merlin looked up and Gaius saw all of those emotions passing across his face there was nothing else he could do but envelope his surrogate-son in a hug.

“I will miss you my boy,” he said.

“Oh don’t be like that Gaius,” Merlin pulled away and gave him a grin, “you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll be up here to borrow books or ask questions or annoy you all the time. You'll probably see more of me now than ever.” Gaius laughed and moved off to the side of the room.

“Well then let me start off your collection,” he came back and handed Merlin a familiar book. It was one he had used hundreds of times on the fundamentals of human anatomy, “every physician should have a copy of this.”

“But that’s your one,” Merlin took the book, reverently turning it over in his hands. He knew the story behind it, Gaius had been gifted this from his mentor when he had qualified as a physician.

“Oh I know this inside out by now, you are sure to find it of more use than I.”

“If you’re sure-”

“Quite sure.” Gaius said with a fond smile.

“Thank you,” Merlin whispered looking back up at him.

“Now, off you go,” Gaius said, “Sir Leon looked quite guilty about all this so I’m certain if you asked he will make those guards help you with your things.”

Gaius was right and the guards did indeed help him carry his bags down to the Rising Sun. As he was walking across the courtyard Merlin took a glance back towards the castle and could have sworn he saw a blonde figure watching him from one of the windows but when he blinked he was gone.

\---

Merlin stayed in the inn for two days before he found permanent lodgings in the lower town, he was two streets away from Gwen’s old house in a three roomed cottage. He set one up as a workshop to see patients and reserved the others as living quarters. It wasn’t long before he started to feel a tugging in his mind, he managed to ignore it for all of one week but eventually he gave in. As Merlin left the town towards the forest he noted how much easier this was now he wasn’t having to sneak past the castle guards. He didn’t even flinch as the dragon landed heavily in the clearing whilst shooting him a very disapproving look.

“Merlin,” he grumbled, “what have you done”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Merlin.”

“Fine, I quit. I’m not Arthur’s servant anymore.”

“Arthur is your destiny Merlin, you cannot leave him.”

“Did I say I was leaving? I’m staying in Camelot, not that it really matters anyway he can’t stand the sight of me at the moment.”

“He cannot truly hate you young warlock, he is not capable of it. He needs you.”

“Really? Because you’re always telling me that I’m meant to guide him, to advise him, but how am I meant to do that when he doesn’t respect me in the slightest?”

“That will come in time.”

“Oh great that’s just as useful as ever, thanks.” Merlin rolled his eyes, “When? It’s been years and he treats me worse now than he did when we first met, he is supposed to be my friend but there is only so much of that I can take!”

“He is more than your friend Merlin, he is the other half of your coin.”

“Well maybe someone should try telling him that. I mean really, why is it all up to me anyway? We’re meant to have this great destiny together but I really seem to be doing the majority of the legwork for it most of the time.”

“Have you ever thought Merlin, that perhaps it was up to you to tell him that?”

“What?”

“How can you expect Arthur to live up to his destiny if you do not tell him about it?”

“Oh yes right, I guess I’ll just march back up to the castle then and fill him in. ‘oh hey Arthur I know I’m your least favourite person right now but I should probably mention I’m the most powerful warlock ever to exist and you are the once and future king destined to unite Albion and bring back magic to the land so if you could just get on that thanks’ I’m sure that will go down a treat.”

“You may need to work on your phrasing,” Kilgharrah chuckled.

“I can’t tell him,” Merlin sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “even if I hadn’t ruined it all by quitting he still wouldn’t be able to listen to me. He probably wouldn’t believe I had magic until I actually started casting spells in front of him.”

“You have not ruined anything Merlin.”

“Well I don’t see how any of that can happen anymore.”

“Have faith Merlin, if you are still willing to work towards your destiny then all is not lost.”

“Of course I’m willing, why wouldn’t I want that?”

“Then you may still succeed.”

“Great. How?”

“You will find a way.”

“You know for a minute there I thought you might actually be helpful.”

Kilgharrah didn’t answer, instead just giving another cryptic chuckle before flying off leaving Merlin to wonder why it had ever seemed like a good idea to ask a giant lizard for advice in the first place.

Word had spread quickly that there was now a physician within the lower town and Merlin had so far had a fairly steady stream of business, there were many who would not be comfortable with seeking help from the court physician under the impression that their ailment was not serious enough to be worth his time but who had no qualms in going to Merlin. What that really boiled down to was that Merlin had spent the vast majority of his time so far looking at boils. Which is why he found himself spending his afternoon mixing up more of the particularly foul smelling ointment that tended to be the most effective treatment.

“Merlin,” a voice said as his door opened, “are you- oh goddess what is that smell!” Mordred choked out as he pulled his cloak up to cover his face.

“Boil ointment,” Merlin said, wiping his hands off as he turned to face him, “more specifically the toad paste component.”

“Eugh, I used to help the healers in our camp make that stuff. Really makes you realise the lesser talked of benefits of magical healing.”

“It’s not so bad in the kitchen,” Merlin said heading through to the other room, Mordred followed him and shut the door to the adjoining room as Merlin put a pot of water on for tea, “so, to what do I owe the pleasure? I know you’re not ill because Gaius is much closer.”

“No I’m fine I just- wanted to see how you’re doing?” Mordred said unconvincingly and Merlin raised an eyebrow to rival Gaius’.

“Sure let’s go with that, I’m fine how are you?”

“I’m good thank you.”

“Great, now why are you actually here?” Merlin set two cups on the table and sat down, gesturing for Mordred to take the seat opposite. Mordred removed his cloak and sighed as he set down.

“Honestly? The king’s a mess.”

“That’s not really my problem anymore.”

“No like an actual mess, he showed up to a council meeting in a nightshirt yesterday.”

“Still not my problem.”

“Yes but… it sort of is, isn’t it?” Merlin didn't respond, instead waiting for Mordred to continue, “well I can understand why you left, I really can. But it’s not like being Arthur’s servant was your only job.”

“You’re right, I was Gaius’ apprentice too.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Mordred muttered, “it’s just… what about the prophecies? Emrys cannot leave the Once and Future King, it is like the moon trying to leave the sun.” In that moment Mordred was not a knight of Camelot but the small druid boy Merlin remembered meeting all those years ago.

“First of all, the sun and the moon are really far apart and we really need to work on your astronomy, honestly I thought the druids were good with that stuff,” Mordred opened his mouth but Merlin held a hand to stop him, “Second of all, is that all I am to any of you? Just some figure from a story? A means to an end? I’m a real person Mordred and I’d really appreciate it if people started seeing me for a bit more than just some abstract destiny that I may or may not accomplish.”

“No Merlin!” Mordred said hurriedly, “Of course not. Obviously when we first met I only knew you as Emrys but since coming to Camelot I’d like to think we’ve become friends, you are more to me than just what you can achieve and I know many others that have met you you feel the same but…” he sighed, “so many more are relying on you and the king.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Merlin raised his voice, “Of course I do! Sometimes it is all I can think about, I know how many people are relying on me and I know exactly how many of them I have failed already. Do you know how many of our people I had to watch burn under Uther’s rule? Because I do,” Mordred shook his head slightly, “eighty four. Eighty four people that died at Uther’s hand, that died because I failed to save them. That’s not including the countless that his soldiers slaughtered on raids of camps or those that died in battle. But I am no use to those relying on me if I am thought of nothing more than a fool. I’m not giving up on them Mordred, on you, or on Arthur but I might as well have done if I had stayed. I would not only be doing myself a disservice but all of you too.”

“And what of Arthur? How are you meant to help him when he can’t even be in the same room as you, the same castle? Did you really have to be quite so dramatic about it?”

“Dramatic? I was calm and collected, I very quietly resigned. It was him that pushed me for a reason.”

“You were maybe a little harsh on him though-”

“Ok fine maybe I could have handled it better, something had to change though.” They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, sipping their tea. “Did he really go to a council meeting in a nightshirt?” Merlin asked.

“He hasn’t hired a new manservant yet.”

“I though George-”

“Lasted two days before proclaiming that you must have been a saint and asking the steward to reassign him.”

“But George was Uther’s manservant, if he could put up with that then-”

“He misses you.” Mordred said plainly. “He won’t say that to anyone obviously but it’s not hard to tell.”

“I miss him too,” Merlin sighed, “there were a lot of chores I really didn’t like but that work wasn’t actually that bad. But being a physician, I never knew people had so many boils it is frankly kind of disgusting.”

“Come back then.”

“I can’t, I wish it were that simple but I just can’t. He wouldn’t let me come back in the first place but also, if I just go back to doing the same thing as before then I haven’t actually achieved anything. I may miss a lot of things about living and working in the castle but I stand by my decision.”

“So you’re just going to work as a physician now then?”

“For a while anyway, I don’t believe I’ll be able to keep my distance forever there’s too many people trying to kill the prat for that.” They shared a laugh at that.

“Merlin,” Mordred said, “are you happy?”

“What?”

“It’s just, I don’t want you to think that I’m only visiting you because you’re Emrys and I’m worried about the prophecies. It’s partly that yes but as I said before, you’re my friend too and I want you to be happy.” Merlin was quiet for so long Mordred had almost given up hope on him answering.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly, “I don’t know the last time I was actually happy to be able to compare it to. I spent so long devoting myself to Arthur that… I don’t know if I know how to be happy just as me anymore, not truly.” Merlin looked up and the look in his eyes broke the young knight’s heart, “but I’m trying and I think, I think maybe I will be. Eventually.” Merlin gave him a small smile.

“Do you want a hand with the boil ointment? I think I can still remember the recipe,” Mordred said after a moment, acknowledging the unspoken agreement that they didn’t need to discuss this further.

“I do need someone to grind the toads,” Merlin said, clearing away their cups.

“Please,” Mordred said with a pleading look, “I will do literally anything else.” Merlin laughed at him as they set about their work with Mordred catching him up on the latest news from around the castle.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had two voices in my head whilst writing this:  
> A - Make everything happy again  
> B - Make it hurt as much as possible, burn it all down!  
> B won.
> 
> I was worried that the whole eviction thing was a little ooc for Arthur (I came up with the idea and was nearly cackling at how mean it was) but then I remembered that it is not unheard of for him to lash out when he's hurt (think Gwen and Lancelot, that time he nearly killed Uther etc.) so that's what's happening here in case you were concerned. Just felt like I had to provide some context as I had thought it through but I'm not sure it's totally obvious with the characters I was working with here.
> 
> Also, who's here for Mordred and Merlin being friends and actually being able to have honest conversations about feelings because I am 100%.
> 
> I know I promised Arthur POV and it is coming next chapter, honestly.
> 
> Hope everyone's staying safe!


	6. ...and on and on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin wasn't the only one affected by the recent changes, if only Arthur would actually realise this.

Arthur barely slept a wink. He tossed and turned all night but he just could not get comfy, his pillows were wrong, his bed hadn’t been turned down correctly and the servant that had prepared him for bed that evening had chosen the really uncomfortable sleeping breeches normally reserved for when Merlin was annoyed with him. It definitely wasn’t because the uncomfortable trousers kept making him think of the fact that Merlin was beyond annoyed at him this time, absolutely not. Kings don’t lose sleep over servants, over ex-servants. This was why he was in a particularly foul mood when he was awoken by someone clearing their throat next to him. Arthur let out a groan as he opened a bleary eye, the light was much dimmer than when he normally woke meaning either the castle was under attack (unlikely but not impossible) or his servant was on time for once (even less likely, verging on impossible). Except the warning bells weren’t ringing and, as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and his thoughts became more coherent, Arthur remembered he didn’t have a servant anymore. So who was standing next to his bed? Oh gods maybe he _was_ under attack. He sat up with a jolt, turned to face his attacker and, oh no wait that was just George.

“Good morning your majesty,” the servant said, sounding far too happy to be awake, “I have prepared your clothes for the day and your breakfast is laid out and ready sire.”

“What time is it?” Arthur said as he swung his legs out from the bed, wincing as his feet hit the cold stone floor. 

“Just after dawn your majesty.”

“Is there an early meeting I’ve forgotten about?” he asked with a yawn as he stretched out.  
“I don’t believe so sire.” 

“Then please do tell, why have you woken me up so early?” He turned to face the servant, with his dark hair, blue shirt and red scarf he almost looked like a neater version of… nope. Arthur wasn’t thinking about that.

“The steward informed me that this was the time you requested to wake my lord, I do so heartily apologise if this was a mistake and I will make sure his records are corrected immediately.” George was beginning to sound nervous.

“No I haven’t woken this early since…” since he last had a servant that was on time Arthur thought as he trailed off. “I prefer a later wake up call now but,” he cut George off as the other man opened his mouth, no doubt to apologise again, “this is fine for today.” He turned towards the table and paused, “George?”

“Yes your majesty?”

“Am I expecting the rest of the army to join me for breakfast?”

“Not that I’ve been made aware of sire,” and Arthur almost hung his head at the other man’s inability to grasp sarcasm.

“Then why is there enough food to feed them on my table?”

“I apologise again my lord if it is too much, this is the same breakfast I would serve to the late king and I had assumed that you would require the same but that was wrong of me and-”  
“George,” Arthur held up a hand to stop him talking, “stop apologising there’s no way you would have known. Just fix it next time, I prefer a normal sized breakfast for a normal sized person, not a seven course feast.”  
“Yes your majesty,” Arthur didn’t think he had heard his title so many times in such a short space of time, he thought a whole lifetime of being addressed as such would have made him accustomed to it but this frequency in his own chambers was already starting to grate.  
“And take that scarf of,” he said sharply as he sat down and pulled some bread towards him, “you look ridiculous.”

Trying to dress with George’s help felt more like trying to negotiate a land deal with a reluctant lord. Everytime he turned around the servant was trying to add another vest or pendant or ring to his outfit and by the time he was done Arthur felt like he needed a nap. Or a strong drink. 

“No George we’re done.”

“My lord it’s the final tou-”

“I don’t need to wear a crown, I’m doing paperwork.”

“All due respect your majesty but you are the king and-”  
“George!” Arthur shouted, “That’s enough! I don’t need it, it gives me more of a headache than these tax reports so please, just stop.” George flounded for a minute, inspecting the object in question.

“Perhaps it is too tight sire,” Arthur dropped his head to his hands with a groan, “I’m sorry if this is too forward my lord it’s just, your father had the same issue once. He had been gifted a crown on the anniversary of his coronation and it was slightly too small but the royal jeweller managed to fix it. From having polished both of your helmets I believe his head was slightly narrower than yours is sire so perhaps I should ask the jeweller to take a look.”  
“That is not actually a terrible idea,” Arthur lifted his head to look at the servant, “thank you George, you may go if there is nothing else. Please have Sir Leon sent to me.”

“At once my lord,” George gave a bow as he retreated from the room leaving Arthur to start pulling off the excessive number of rings he had ended up wearing so that he was actually able to pick up a quill.

Some time later there was a knock on his door. “Enter,” he called without looking up from his papers.

“My lord?” Leon asked as he pushed the door open.

“Ah Leon, come in,” he got up from his desk and moved over to the main table, gesturing for Leon to join him. “Wine?” He asked picking up the pitcher.

“It’s 10 in the morning sire.”  
“Yes well, it’s all George left to drink. Apparently a king shouldn’t sully his palate with the same water a peasant would drink,” he said, rolling his eyes to emphasise just what he thought of that ideal.

“Oh well then, no thank you I’m fine.” Leon said with a frown.

“You know he was my father’s manservant and I’m beginning to think that if this was how he treated him he must have just been constantly plastered and- what? Why are you looking at me like I’ve got something on my face?”

“Oh,” Leon started out of the daze he seemed to have fallen into, “no, sorry. It’s just, your new look is… new.” 

“My new look?” 

“Yes the…” he trailed off and gestured vaguely to his ear.

“What the-” Arthur reached up and pulled off the clip on jewel George had managed to sneak on, “oh for the love of- I need a new manservant.”

“Didn’t you just get a new manservant this morning?” 

“Yes but he’s… efficient.”

“Efficient?”

“He woke me up at dawn Leon. Dawn.” Arthur hissed.

“I go for a run at dawn every day sire, I find it very refreshing. Perhaps you’d like to join me one day? Or maybe not, it’s not for everyone,” he switched tacts when he saw the glare the king was shooting him.

“As I was saying,” he sent his knight a pointed look, “I need you to do something.”

“Of course.”

“It has come to my attention that someone employed by the court is in breach of their contract, they have taken a tenant who has outstayed the maximum period for guests and so I need you to remove them.” 

“Oh, really? I would’ve thought that was more something the quarter master took care of, not the king.”

“Yes well, it would seem my father gave a free pass to this person but I don’t think that seems fair on everyone else bound by the same rules. Do you?”

“No I suppose not,” Leon frowned, it seemed very unlike Uther to do something like that out of the goodness of his heart so he must have had a good reason.

“Great you agree, I knew you’d understand. You should inform him straight away, maybe take a couple of guards to avoid any trouble.”

“Not that I’m questioning you but, this really doesn’t seem like something you might need a knight for and I’m meant to be overseeing the new squires this morning.”

“I can have someone else take over that,” Arthur waved a hand dismissively, “I need you to do this. Of all the people that he’d listen to you’re the only one I can trust to actually follow my orders.” Leon frowned, there were plenty of people in the castle that would follow an order from their king.

“And who is that exactly?”

“The umm,” Arthur faltered, his face showing an expression that Leon couldn’t read, “the physician’s apprentice.”

“Merlin?” He almost scoffed in disbelief.  
“Yes,” Arthur cleared his throat, “him.”

“You’re, you’re not serious are you?”

“Do I look like I’m joking.”

“No sire it’s just,” Leon paused, “you’re evicting Merlin?”

“It’s not up to me Leon, Gaius is in violation of his contract with the court and I don’t want to see anything happen to him.”

“So this is out of concern for Gaius?”

“Yes exactly.”

“You said your father chose to overlook it, why can’t you?” Leon said, raising his eyebrows.

“My father overlooked it whilst he held a position in the royal household because servants are allowed accomodation as part of their pay but that’s not the case anymore so there’s nothing I can do.”

“You’re the king sire there’s definitely something you could do if you wanted to.”

“Exactly, I am the king Sir Leon and I’m not asking anymore this is an order.” Arthur snapped, “so unless you have anything relevant to add I suggest you go and get on with your duty.”

“Arthur I know you’re angry but don’t you think this is only going to make things worse?”

“You’re dismissed,” Arthur waved his hand at the knight and got up to return to the reports on his desk.

“My lord,” Leon nodded his head and left with a sigh.

A little while later it was by pure coincidence that Arthur tired of his paperwork and chose to stand by the window overlooking the courtyard as Merlin was escorted from the castle by a couple of guards. He definitely hadn’t been standing there from a few minutes after Leon had left and he absolutely did not hide behind a curtain when his former manservant glanced back up at the castle. Kings didn’t do such things.

“Why did I see Merlin being escorted from the castle?” Gwen said by way of greeting as she entered her husband’s chambers.

“Hello Guinevere, will you join me for lunch?” Arthur gestured to the veritable banquet laid out on the table, George had assured him it was less than he brought at breakfast but as far as Arthur could see it had only been reduced by a couple of apples. “I need to talk to George about portion sizes again,” he muttered.

“Arthur,” Gwen said exasperatedly as she sat down and helped herself to a drink, she pulled a face as she took a sip. The wine was not being as watered down as one would expect at lunch time.

“Yes I’m beginning to suspect my father had a drinking problem,” Arthur said in acknowledgment, “and don’t worry about it, there was just a minor issue with Gaius’ contract but it’s been sorted now. It should have been taken care of by the quarter-master years ago but my father had willfully overlooked it, you know I thought I knew why but maybe it was just the wine after all.”

“What minor issue?” she asked suspiciously.

“His chambers are provided by the crown as part of his pay and as such he’s not allowed to have anyone stay for more than three days unless for medical reasons,” Arthur didn’t look up from his plate as he spoke.

“You evicted Merlin?” she said flatly.

“No! Well, yes I suppose. But it’s about Gaius not his…” Arthur paused searching for the right word, “tenant. I can’t overlook him breaching his terms of employment, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone else.”

“That’s why you were in the record room last night,” Gwen said as realisation dawned on her, “you were searching this out.”

“I.. erm,” Arthur faltered, “it doesn’t matter how it was brought to my attention.”

“Arthur I know you’re angry with him but this… this is cruel.”

“Angry with who?” Gwen let out a groan of frustration.

“With Merlin of course.”

“Oh, right. Why would I be angry with him?”

“Well, because of last night,” she said gently.

“I’ve had servants resign before Guinevere it doesn’t anger me.”

“This was different and you know it, he wasn’t just your servant,” she reached out to take his hand but he pulled away and stood up before she could.”

“Really? Because apparently that’s all he thinks he is!” Arthur snapped before taking a deep breath and schooling his expression, “I’m not angry, a king doesn’t waste time being angry about a servant. Now I have George and he is very… capable, besides my father always said it was never good to keep a servant for more than a few months anyway. It is unwise to allow anyone that sort of access, it’s why he had a rota of three manservants and no single one had unlimited access to his life.”

“You’re right,” Gwen said and Arthur almost flinched at the calm fury he saw in his wife’s face, “your father always had the right idea about relationships between commoners and nobles. Thank the gods you listened to his advice and never knighted any, or heaven forbid marry one!”

“Guinevere that’s not-” Arthur called out but she had already pulled the door shut with a slam behind her. Great, he thought to himself, that went well.

\---

It took George exactly two days of serving Arthur before he experienced what Gaius called a ‘stress induced breakdown’ and asked the steward to reassign him. Ever since that incident he had not been served by the same servant for more than a single day in a row.

Despite his best attempts to apologise multiple times a day Guinevere didn’t speak to him for a week, her silence was eventually broken when she took pity on him after he turned up to a council meeting in a nightshirt. The servant meant to wake him that morning had heard rumours of how bad tempered the king could be in the morning and so had left his breakfast on the table and fled after making sure he was at least starting to wake. Unfortunately in his attempt to leave the king’s chambers as fast as possible he had not set any clothes out leaving Arthur to fend for himself. He definitely did know his own wardrobe (despite how some of the knights may have teased him) but it was ordered differently to how he remembered it. Which made sense, he supposed, with all the different servants that had been in there recently. The queen had still not fully forgiven him but after that incident she had at least asked him to stop sending her so many flowers for the sake of her maid’s hayfever, and he was taking that as progress. He was having less success with his knights, one of them in particular.

“Gwaine,” Arthur called across the training field, “spar with me.”

“Oh what an honour,” Gwaine said as he picked up his sword and went to meet the king on the field, “a lowly commoner knight such as myself blessed with the privilege of sparring with the great King Arthur,” he gave a mock bow and Arthur tapped his sword against the knight’s to tell him to knock it off. It turned out Gwen had confided in Elyan about what he had said who in turn had told the rest of the knights. He was surrounded by gossips.

“Gwaine just…” Arthur trailed off with a sigh.

“Yes _your majesty_?” Arthur rolled his eyes at the tone, the only other person that could make his title sound like such an insult was- nope. Still not thinking about that. 

“Leave it out Gwaine.”

“Oh I’m so terribly sorry _my lord_ have I done something to offend your noble sensibilities. I do apologise, my poor peasant ways just can’t keep up with the etiquette of the big city. I-”

“ _Sir_ Gwaine you would do well to remember who you are talking to,” Arthur grumbled.

“Why? Are you going to kick me out too?”

“Are you going to quit?”

“I might.” Gwaine crossed his arms defiantly.

“Well, are you?” Arthur said after a pause.

“That depends.”

“On what?” Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“Whether you’re going to apologise.”

“I have already told you, told all of you, I didn’t explain myself properly. Obviously I don’t really agree with my father’s views on the class system, if I did none of you would be here in the first place!”

“I don’t mean to me, although as a side note saying that you didn’t explain yourself properly is different to actually apologising but I’ll let that one slide on account of you being so emotionally stunted,” Arthur began to protest but was cut off, “I meant to Merlin. Obviously.”

“You know what? We’re done training for the day,” Arthur began to walk off the field, earning some confused looks from some of the knights given that he hadn’t actually sparred with Gwaine.

“You can’t just not talk about it forever,” Gwaine followed him.

“I don’t need to talk about anything Gwaine, I have nothing to apologise for.”

“Really?” Gwaine took a few quick steps and spun on his heel so he was face to face with the king, blocking his path, “you can’t think of anything?”

“He was working for me, and now he’s not. Servants quit, it happens,” Arthur shrugged, “If anything he should really be apologising to me, he was meant to work a period of notice so I had time to find a suitable replacement.”

“I don’t mean about his job,” Gwaine said with a sigh, “Merlin deserved better and you know it, he’s always been right there by your side but you treated him like crap most of the time. I mean look at me, Merlin has been here longer than me, he’s easily smarter than me, he’s way more loyal, he’s more diplomatic, he’s maybe not quite as dashingly handsome I’ll give you that-”

“Is this going somewhere?”

“My point is for some reason out of the two of us I’m the one you chose to sit on your council, I’m the one you knighted. Merlin was right, you know that you’re just refusing to acknowledge it.”

“Get out of my way Gwaine,” Arthur said through gritted teeth as he pushed past the other man, “we’re done here.” 

Later that night Arthur sat by the fire in his chambers nursing a cup of wine. His evenings were quiet now, usually at this time Merlin would be babbling away about some nonsense in the background or he would have Guinevere for company but Arthur was finding himself alone more and more frequently as of late. He glanced down at the goblet in his hand, it was the one gifted to him by King Bayard many years ago. His thoughts flew back to that feast, images rose unbidden in his mind of Merlin drinking from it and then falling to the ground clutching at his throat. Gods Merlin had drunk poison for him once, what had happened? _“I’m happy to be your servant, until the day I die”_ his servant’s - no, ex-servant’s - voice echoed in his head. Well that had turned out to be a lie hadn’t it? Arthur rubbed his finger over a small dent in the metal and wondered what had caused it. As if in answer his mind supplied a memory of the cup hitting the wall as Merlin ducked out of the way. Had he really thrown it hard enough to dent it? If he had it was only because he knew Merlin would dodge it, he always dodged it. He knew that realistically it was frowned upon for a noble to do such a thing to their servant but it’s not like they had exactly had a conventional working relationship, Merlin had committed treason on a pretty much daily basis with the way he spoke to him. Except if he had actually cared about that he would have done something about it years ago, a whack to the head with a metal goblet was hardly a fair retort to what was - most of the time - admittedly some pretty fair commentary. 

Arthur sighed as he set the cup down, he had been avoiding thinking about it all really. He knew that Guinevere and his knights had a point, that Merlin hadn’t just been a servant and him quitting was a bigger deal than he was willing to let on. But didn’t they understand? He was the king, he couldn’t let on that something his servant did might affect him so much. Except when every time he thought something like that it was as if he could hear his father’s voice in his head, Arthur respected his father in a lot of ways but he acknowledged he had been wrong when it came to his beliefs about the class system. 

He scrubbed a hand over his face and leant back in his chair wondering how it had all come to this. He knew though, he wasn’t stupid - despite what Merlin might say - he had understood what his servant had meant. He knew that he had been right about the distribution of the crops for the winter, and that it wasn’t the first time he had ignored his advice. The sleepless nights he’d had after Agravaine’s betrayal were filled with regret at not listening to his concerns sooner. But what was he meant to do? He couldn’t turn back time. What would he do if he could? Would he arrest Agravaine without concrete proof? He would’ve made a mockery of himself. Or would he go back further? Would he have knighted Merlin at the castle of the ancient kings? No, he thought, definitely not that. It doesn’t matter how shockingly good his advice could be sometimes Merlin would still be an utterly tragic knight. He was deserving of it though, just as much as anyone at that table had been. More so, in fact. When he stood there and asked for there support he had been fairly confident that they would all give it but with each one there was always that small niggle of doubt that maybe he had read them wrong, maybe they didn’t want to infiltrate the citadel on a suicide mission (which would have been a very understandable stance to take given that most of them weren’t even from Camelot). But he had known Merlin would stand with him, even when he refused to at first he had known in his gut there was no way he wouldn’t be there. But for some reason it had never crossed his mind that maybe he deserved some recognition for that. Everyone else there was now a knight, or queen, or… ok so it’s not like he was ever going to knight Gaius but he already held quite a respectable position in the court. He knew why he hadn’t wanted to give Merlin any sort of elevated status, he didn’t like to think about it because Arthur generally didn’t think of himself as a selfish person but he knew that as soon as he promoted him he’d have to deal with George. Or, as it turned out, a parade of different servants as he was apparently just as much of a nightmare to put up with as Merlin had said he was. It wasn’t a good excuse though, trapping his friend (because yes ok he would admit Merlin was his friend) in servitude just because he didn’t want someone else? Arthur wasn’t sure he liked that side of himself. None of this mattered anymore though, because he hadn’t been able to get over his own selfishness and everything had blown up in his face. 

Arthur stood up and stretched out his tired joints with a groan. He hated admitting he was wrong even to himself, but in this instance he was most definitely in the wrong. How had he ever let it get this bad? Even now that wanted to fix it now he wasn’t sure he knew how. Merlin didn’t even want to be in the same room as him anymore, although he supposed evicting him hadn’t helped with that. He winced at the thought of his rash decision, he had regretted it even as Leon had left the room but he had been too proud to admit it. He opened his wardrobe to try and find something to sleep in and frowned at the jumbled mess inside, he _really_ needed to find a permanent servant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got to Arthur's POV! I have been sooo looking forward to getting to this part of the story and I'm even more excited for the next chapter (which might be my favourite part of my plan). Finally we're seeing Arthur gaining some self-awareness and using his head, we call this ~growth~ kiddies. 
> 
> Also in my mind George dressing Arthur is like that scene with Rowan Atkinson from Love Actually, he definitely tried to sprinkle lavender on him fight me on this.


	7. Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An injury leads to an unexpected reunion and it's finally time for some important conversations.

Arthur was incapable of looking after himself, not in the way that people (Merlin) would tease him about though. He could - mostly - dress himself and did actually have a pretty decent handle on his own daily schedule of meetings and training, however, he’d never really had to truly  _ care  _ for himself. All his life he’d had people making sure he ate and slept and just generally kept himself in good health, which was a good thing too because at heart he could tend to be a bit of a workaholic. Arthur found it all too easy to get wrapped up in reports for hours until the next thing he knew dawn was breaking and he hadn’t stopped for so much as a sip of water since the afternoon before. This had never been an issue before though because he was surrounded by people that made sure he was looked after. Technically he still had servants that brought him food and turned down his bed but if they didn’t forcibly shove a roll in his mouth or remove the papers from his desk then it would go unnoticed. Of course, very few people would dare to do that sort of thing to the king and with Merlin gone and Guinevere still not ready to forgive him Arthur was starting to fall into some pretty atrocious habits. Therefore it really shouldn’t have been a surprise when one of the newer knights landed an easy hit in a training session giving him a nasty slice on his upper arm when he was barely paying attention. 

“Sire I really am very sorry-” Kay hadn’t stopped talking since dropping his sword in shock when he saw he had drawn blood from the king.

“Kay for the last time stop apologising,” Arthur grumbled whilst inspecting the wound, “it was a good hit and I should have been paying more attention. Never apologise for winning fairly and it probably goes without saying but in battle try not to drop your sword at the first sight of blood.” He looked up at the young recruit with a slight smile playing on his lips.

“Yes sire,” he nodded, “would you like me to help you to Gaius?”

“No no, I’m fine it’s just a scratch,” Arthur waved him off.

“It looks pretty deep sire,” Leon joined them, “I’ve seen lesser wounds develop nasty infections before. Kay’s right you probably should see Gaius.”

“I’m alright, it’s barely bleeding.” Leon and Kay shared a sceptical look as a few drops of blood fell to the floor.

“Has my uncle ever told you about his arm sire?” Kay said, his uncle had served with Uther but retired after losing his sword arm. As young squires Arthur and Leon used to invent wild stories about how it had happened but neither had ever plucked up the courage to ask, “because that started as a scratch…”

“Really?” Arthur looked up with alarm, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to ask Gaius to take a look, I’d been meaning to stop by lately anyway. Leon you can take over the session.”

“Of course sire,” Leon nodded. After the king was gone he turned back to Kay, “did your uncle’s arm really start as just a scratch?”

“Well… technically yes.” Kay said, “It was just a really big scratch. From a boar’s tusk.”

“You will make a very good addition to the knights Kay,” Leon said, holding back a smile as he pulled the younger man back towards the field.

\---

True to his word, Merlin still spent a lot of time visiting Gaius’ chambers. Mostly dropping by unannounced at random points during the day to borrow something or ask a question or just to say hello. Today he was after a book, he had a patient that was presenting with a mysterious rash and he knew that Gaius had a guide to help identify it around here somewhere. If not his best guess would just be to break the leeches out but he’d rather avoid that if he could. Gaius wasn’t actually in, Lady Bellis had gone into labour that morning so he was likely to be out most of the day. Merlin knew he wouldn’t mind him borrowing the book though, if he could just find the damn thing. He was currently balanced rather precariously on top of three books on top of a stool at the very back of the room trying to read the names of the tomes stacked two shelves above him. Merlin heard the door open and froze, there was no way that was Gaius back yet he was way too early. He jumped when he heard a familiar voice call out “Gaius?” which was just enough movement to send the books and then the stool toppling from under him resulting in Merlin landing on the floor with a groan.

“What was that?,” Arthur’s voice drew closer as Merlin pulled himself back to his feet realising that he definitely wasn’t going to be able to stay hidden now, “Gaius are you alri- oh.” Arthur stopped short as he caught sight of him.

“Sorry, not Gaius,” Merlin shrugged, “sire.” He tacked on at the end realising that his previously familiar tone might not be so welcome anymore.

“I was just looking for Gaius,” Arthur said, shifting his arm uncomfortably as Merlin noticed he was wounded for the first time. He felt a slight pang that it had even taken him this long to notice, he used to be able to tell in seconds if something was wrong.

“He’s out,” he said, gesturing to the empty room.

“I can see that,” Arthur said with a hint of familiar exasperation, “I thought you had left?” Merlin felt a surge of anger at the casual tone, as if Arthur wasn’t directly responsible for him moving.

“I was evicted,” he said curtly as he shot the king a glare, “it doesn’t mean I have to leave the city, but if you really want to banish me  _ sire _ you should just go ahead and do it.”

“No, I don’t want-” Arthur sighed, “I’ll just come back later.” He turned to leave.

“Wait,” Merlin stopped him, “sit down I can still treat you. That looks deep and Gaius would have my head if I let it get infected.”

“You can treat me?,” Arthur began as if to make some sort of comment on Merlin’s abilities but bit his tongue and did as he was told instead, taking a seat at the table. Merlin began gathering supplies and then started helping him out of the padded tunic he’d been wearing in place of his mail so that he could get to the injury. 

“Why weren’t you wearing armour anyway?”

“It’s far too hot for that.”

“Oh yeah this is much better,” Merlin muttered as he began cleaning the wound, remembering all the times he’d had to practically force him into wearing something more protective than a tunic because of similar complaints. Without a servant with enough backbone to stand up to him Merlin supposed Arthur was getting his way a whole lot more. They sat in silence for a while as Merlin worked with Arthur watching intently.

“Merlin-” Arthur began before pausing causing him to look up, “I was wrong to kick you out. I reacted rashly and you didn’t deserve that,” he said earnestly.

“No, I didn’t.” Merlin said curtly, returning to his work.

“And you were right,”

“You didn’t say you were hit on the head too,” he muttered.

“ _ Mer _ lin,” Arthur smirked, both of them falling back into their old routine for a moment before sobering, “You were right about the round table and what happened there, if I’d been fair I would’ve knighted you too.”

“I’d make a terrible knight.”

“I know you would, that’s not the point. Look would you just- I’m trying to be nice here.”

“You’re not very good at it, you just said I’d make a terrible knight.”

“You were the one that said- Ow!” Arthur definitely didn’t yelp as Merlin began dripping some sort of strong smelling tincture onto his cut.

“Oops,” Merlin said without a hint of remorse.

“Look I’m just trying to- I’d like to explain more, if you’ll let me without all the shouting?”

“I thought I was very reasonable, I was just going to slip out quietly and not make a fuss but-” Merlin stopped when he saw the sincerity in Arthur’s face, “fine.”

“I know you’ve only been gone a few weeks but I haven’t actually thought of you as just my servant for years, but I’ve come to see that perhaps my words and actions didn’t line up with my thoughts.”

“This is really hard for you to say, huh?”

“Yes actually, we don’t all like to vomit emotions everywhere so if you’d let me finish?”

“Yep, sorry.”

“You’re one of the only people that has never been anything but loyal to me but more importantly that was never because of my title because we both know you hold very little respect for that,” Merlin let out a huff of laughter but didn’t interrupt as he prepared a needle and thread to stitch Arthur’s arm, “I frequently dismissed your advice or warnings even if you turned out to be right more than I’d like to admit. There’s no one that knows me better, you always seemed to know what I was thinking and I think because of that I assumed I never had to explain myself but that was foolish.”

“It concerns me that you reached the throne without realising people can’t actually read minds,” Merlin said, “sharp scratch,” he warned before he began stitching and Arthur winced.

“Of course I know people can’t read minds Merlin I just - maybe forgot a little bit. Take Pendry for example-”

“Do I have to?”

“Obviously he was being an arse, and everything you said was technically correct but if I didn’t say anything about your outburst then he would never respect my decision to redistribute the harvest so that everyone was taken care of. I just assumed you would realise that. It’s the same with the round table, I appreciated your support just as much as anyone else’s but I thought it went without saying.”

“The thing is Arthur, there’s a difference between leaving the obvious unsaid and just never saying anything of the sort.”

“I know,” Merlin raised an eyebrow, “I know that  _ now.”  _ He corrected.

“Apology accepted,” Merlin said with a grin as he tied off the final stitch and started smearing an ointment on the wound.

“Well hold on I didn’t say I was apologising-”

“I thought I could read your mind?”

“As usual I see my point has gone right over your head.”

“Weren’t you just talking about how well I know you?” Merlin tied a bandage around his arm.

“Shut up Merlin.” Merlin shook his head slightly as he started rooting through Gaius’ supplies.

“Drink this,” he said, handing Arthur a bottle.

“Oh that is foul! This isn’t Gaius’ usual pain medication.” Arthur nearly gagged as he downed it.

“It is actually, but he made it himself. I took over making a lot of his supplies years ago and I might have adapted the recipes a bit. People are more likely to take them if they don’t taste like a bog.” Merlin shrugged and Arthur looked at him with a bit of amazement before examining his bandaged arm.

“You’re quite good at this.”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“What were you doing here anyway?”

“I need to borrow a book, I’ve been working as a physician in the lower town.”

“Just here to steal then?”

“No to borrow-”

“From poor innocent Gaius-” Arthur teased.

“Well his collection of references is much better than mine and I had to buy a house so I didn’t exactly have much left for books.”

“How did you afford a house?”   
“Well being your servant wasn’t exactly badly paid… Hold on you don’t actually know how much you paid me do you?” Merlin went back to the bookshelf as Arthur spluttered indignantly behind him.

“It looks more like you were just making a mess,” Arthur came up behind him as Merlin righted the stool.

“Well the book’s right up high, I couldn’t reach it and I don’t know what Gaius has done with the ladder.” Arthur glanced around for a moment.

“Hold it steady,” he said grabbing a broom and standing on the stool.

“Now hold on you don’t even know which one it is.”

“So tell me.”

“The title’s in Latin.”

“You know Latin?”

“Do you?”

“Yes Merlin of course I know Latin I’m the king.”

“Those two things are unrelated.”

“ _ Mer _ lin-”

“Historia Naturalis by Pliny”

“I can see it, if I just-” Arthur leant over with the broom and began trying to reach the book with the handle.

“Wait they’re very delicately balanced if you hit the wrong one they’ll-” Merlin was cut off as about ten books fell to the floor.

“You’re welcome,” Arthur jumped down as Merlin shook his head and began gathering them up before taking the one he wanted over to the table to read. Arthur sat opposite him.

“Well if you’re planning to stay you should at least eat,” Merlin took a hunk of bread from Gaius’ store and set it in front of the king, “don’t take this the wrong way but you look terrible.”

“How could I possibly take that the wrong way?” Arthur rolled his eyes and began to pick at the food.

“Seriously though, have you been eating? Sleeping? Oh no wait let me guess, you’ve been ignoring whichever poor sod you’ve found to replace me and not tending to your own needs because you're putting the kingdom first?”

“I’m just very busy-”

“We both know that’s just an excuse, tax reports will wait until the morning you’re no use to the people if you work yourself to exhaustion.” Merlin began to flick through the book, “Surely Gwen has said something?”

“I’m busier at the moment, takes a lot longer to write a speech than just proofread the ones you wrote.”

“I’m shocked.”

“And I might have said the wrong thing to Guinevere.”

“Again, shocked.” Merlin said and Arthur threw a piece of bread at him. “What did you do?”

“She wasn’t best pleased when I had you evicted and it probably didn’t help when I said my father might have had the right approach with personal servants…”

“You really said that?”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“You arse Arthur.”

“I know, I know. I think she’s coming round though.”

“So you really couldn’t last a day without me, huh?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I would.” Merlin looked up from the book, “I heard you still hadn’t found a permanent replacement for me yet.”

“Well I had George at first but I think he spent most of the day trying to get me drunk, but now the steward won’t assign anyone for more than a day at a time. It’s chaos honestly, there’s no storage system to my chambers anymore-”

“What? I spent years working on that and- nope not my problem anymore.”

“It could be.”

“What?”

“Come back and work for me again.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I can’t come back, not to do the same job.”

“But I know what I did wrong now, I thought-”

“It wasn’t just about you.” Merlin sighed, “Say I come back and things are better, I’m still technically just a servant. People like Pendry wouldn’t change, I still wouldn’t be free to share opinions or give advice in public. Not the way everyone else is.”

“What if I offered you a different role?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know yet. But I do know that I can’t carry on with the rotating collection of servants I’ve got at the moment.”

“So you want me to come back, and do all the stuff I did before, but not be your servant?”

“Basically yes.”

“Let me know when you figure that one out.” The noon bell began to toll and Arthur sighed and stood up.

“Look I have to go but, leave it with me.”

“Council meeting?”

“How did you-”

“Every tuesday at noon, you might want to change into matching boots first though.”

“What?” Arthur looked down and noticed his shoes were different colours, “Oh for goodness sake this can’t go on.” He strode towards the door.

“Arthur?” Merlin called and he turned back to face him, “thank you.” Arthur nodded and left.

Three days later Merlin was working in his house when there was a knock at the door, it was a messenger boy from the castle.

“From the king sir.” The boy said, handing him a scroll.

“Thanks,” Merlin tipped him and closed the door.

Merlin unrolled the scroll to find what looked like a contract of employment for a position in the royal household with a note pinned to the top in a familiar messy scrawl.

_ Merlin _

_ Will this do? _

_ -Arthur _

Merlin skimmed through the pages before grabbing a quill.

\---

There was a knock at the door.

“Enter,” called Arthur, putting aside the speech he was working on.

“Royal secretary?” Merlin said with a raised eyebrow as he shut the door to the king’s chambers behind him.

“What do you think?”

“I’ve never even heard of the position.”

“Yes well, there hasn’t been one in Camelot for quite some time. Father never trusted anyone enough but it’s quite common in other kingdoms.” Arthur stood and walked round to sit on the front of his desk, “it’s basically the same as what you were doing before with a different name.”

“So I’d just be your servant again?”

“No Merlin I said it was the same as you were doing before, and I think we established you were doing much more than ‘just a servant’ before. The main difference is that this would allow you to sit in council meetings too, it would give your opinions more weight to other members of court.”

“Why can’t I do that without washing your socks?”

“Ok fine you don’t have to do my laundry.”

“Or muck out the stables.”

“Look I don’t actually care about those bits, you can delegate whichever tasks you want. The point is you get more of the recognition that you deserve and I don’t ever have to be dressed by George again.”

“Unless I’m sick.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh so I’m not allowed to get ill now?”

“You are hands down the most infuriating person I’ve ever met,” Arthur sighed, “do you accept the position or not?”

“How much wriggle room have you got on the salary?”

“ _ Mer _ lin-”

“I’ve already signed it, you dolt.” Merlin handed the contract over and Arthur glanced over it before also signing his own name at the bottom.

“Welcome back,” Arthur held out his hand to shake and Merlin took it. “I’ve got this speech to give at the feast in two days, the wardrobe’s a mess, there’s a dent in my armour, I need you to chase Lord Guilliams for his estate’s financial report because he’s late again and you know what?” Arthur paused, “I’m starving, go get us some lunch and I’ll make you a list.”

“Of course sire.” Merlin said with a grin.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life became a bit overwhelming hence my sudden disappearance but hey, I'm back now! Also, I came back to this and realised my planned ending was actual garbage so had to do a bit of a revamp on the fly so this has ended a bit sooner than expected. However that doesn't mean it's properly over, I loved the direction I wanted to take this I just realised it was more suited to a sequel than to a continuation so stay tuned because we're not done yet. I just need some time to explore this new role some more and develop the plot outline for the next one, I have quite a lot of one-line plot hooks in my notes right now so I might repurpose one of those.
> 
> I spent ages trying to find the medieval equivalent of the 'Private Secretary' role that the royal family has in modern times only to discover that the title 'Royal Secretary' dates back until at least the early 1400s and decided that was close enough. Points to whoever spots my podcast reference in this by the way.
> 
> Hope everyone's staying safe and thank you for sticking with me through this!


End file.
